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The closest I've found to making and keeping friends has been the FBI interrogation manual, which explains how police officers who would normally scare a suspec

The closest I've found to making and keeping friends has been the FBI interrogation manual, which explains how police officers who would normally scare a suspect can get them to disclose intimate details of crimes. https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/hig-report-august-2016.pdf/view https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/hig-report-august-2016.p... https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/hig-report-interrogation-a-review-of-the-science-september-2016.pdf/view https://www.fbi.gov/file-repository/hig-report-interrogation... Obviously you're not entering an interrogation, and you also want to level the playing field by sharing information yourself. I think it's an evidence-based guide to how first impressions are formed, and what people often get out of social interactions.

hanniabu 6y ago
Maybe it's just me, but I'm really not seeing how to apply this
- TrinaryWorksToo 6y ago
  Read the parts on rapport building
Inu 6y ago
>The closest I've found to making and keeping friends has been the FBI interrogation manual, which explains how police officers who would normally scare a suspect can get them to disclose intimate details of crimes. Sorry, but this is the funniest thing I've read on HN in a while.
- conistonwater 6y ago
  If you're interested in improving your social skills at work, you might also enjoy the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. Um, seriously, all effective communication techniques are based on basically the same principles; there's a book by a former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss (Never Split the Difference) where he describes hostage negotiations with terrorists, and it all works in the workplace too. These two are significantly better than How to Win Friends and Influence Friends, which is mostly about sales rather than negotiations.
  - james_s_tayler 6y ago
    That guy is legit.
- jamiek88 6y ago
  It’s the most hacker news comment ever. In context reasonable, show it elsewhere and derision would follow. Funny.

hanniabu 6y ago

Maybe it's just me, but I'm really not seeing how to apply this

TrinaryWorksToo 6y ago
Read the parts on rapport building

Inu 6y ago

>The closest I've found to making and keeping friends has been the FBI interrogation manual, which explains how police officers who would normally scare a suspect can get them to disclose intimate details of crimes. Sorry, but this is the funniest thing I've read on HN in a while.

conistonwater 6y ago
If you're interested in improving your social skills at work, you might also enjoy the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. Um, seriously, all effective communication techniques are based on basically the same principles; there's a book by a former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss (Never Split the Difference) where he describes hostage negotiations with terrorists, and it all works in the workplace too. These two are significantly better than How to Win Friends and Influence Friends, which is mostly about sales rather than negotiations.
- james_s_tayler 6y ago
  That guy is legit.
jamiek88 6y ago
It’s the most hacker news comment ever. In context reasonable, show it elsewhere and derision would follow. Funny.