3 ms·

I'm not sure if this helps, but after 45 years as a stranger in a strange land, the only friends I've managed to keep longer than a year have been autistic them

I'm not sure if this helps, but after 45 years as a stranger in a strange land, the only friends I've managed to keep longer than a year have been autistic themselves. My wife is also autistic, and we both marvel over how, for the first time ever in our lives, our home is our sanctuary where we can just relax and be completely ourselves with all the weirdness that entails. All previous romantic relationships were stressful and ended badly because it felt like I was walking on eggshells, and couldn't understand why my SO kept getting upset. My wife had similar experiences in past relationships.

bsder 6y ago
> All previous romantic relationships were stressful and ended badly because it felt like I was walking on eggshells, and couldn't understand why my SO kept getting upset. My wife had similar experiences in past relationships. Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship. Human relationships are hard. Being "neurotypical" doesn't suddenly make them easy.
- kaybe 6y ago
  > Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship. It's worth so much to be able to just ask, and the other party examines the issue and their feelings and simply tells you.
  - mrpopo 6y ago
    Until your partner gets tired of asking or being asked...
    - kstenerud 6y ago
      My wife asks all the time, and I don't get tired of it. In fact, it's refreshing, because everyone else has always just assumed the worst in a given situation and decided to "get back" at me for whatever they perceive. To this day there are many people who outright refuse to talk to me over a grudge from something I have no idea about ("you know what's wrong!"). Hell, I've even lost jobs over this kind of thing.
- james_s_tayler 6y ago
  Which gives you some indication of just how much more difficult it can be for others.

bsder 6y ago

> All previous romantic relationships were stressful and ended badly because it felt like I was walking on eggshells, and couldn't understand why my SO kept getting upset. My wife had similar experiences in past relationships. Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship. Human relationships are hard. Being "neurotypical" doesn't suddenly make them easy.

kaybe 6y ago
> Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship. It's worth so much to be able to just ask, and the other party examines the issue and their feelings and simply tells you.
- mrpopo 6y ago
  Until your partner gets tired of asking or being asked...
  - kstenerud 6y ago
    My wife asks all the time, and I don't get tired of it. In fact, it's refreshing, because everyone else has always just assumed the worst in a given situation and decided to "get back" at me for whatever they perceive. To this day there are many people who outright refuse to talk to me over a grudge from something I have no idea about ("you know what's wrong!"). Hell, I've even lost jobs over this kind of thing.
james_s_tayler 6y ago
Which gives you some indication of just how much more difficult it can be for others.