Why do you feel guilty? You need to explore that feeling if you want to rid yourself of it, and you should rid yourself of it. You can't change the past. I do

Why do you feel guilty? You need to explore that feeling if you want to rid yourself of it, and you should rid yourself of it. You can't change the past. I do identify with that feeling, however. I was never a great student. Before university I had poor grades and only took standard level courses. I frequently didn't even complete assignments. I spent most of my time being a computer nerd. I was accepted into a great university solely due to my "impressive" extracurricular experience: running computer nerd clubs at school, programming for fun, tech internships. In university I had little trouble doing well in CS courses. In the beginning, they were easy to pass without even trying. In the later years, the CS courses were hard, but I enjoyed them. They actually gave us a considerable amount of freedom to direct our own study. My non-CS courses were a different matter - I nearly failed two my first semester. It was harder to coast at uni, so it forced me to become a decent student. I graduated with a 3.5, which was much better than I ever could have imagined. But really, the important takeaway is that I hate school in general and I always will. I have known this innately since I was a child, forced to sit in a chair indoors when I wanted to be outside in the woods. I love learning, but I don't like being told what I should learn, and what I should do, and especially what hoops somebody else wants me to jump through. I don't care if I am failing/succeeding to measure up to anything but my own criteria. That is my true personality, and I think I am fine to be that way, so I don't feel guilty, or harbor regrets about my past school performance. It took me some years to accept myself in this way, and I hope you will be able to as well eventually.