"It's impossible to get the stink of desperation off and causes me to interview very poorly." followed by "I have been abused and neglected for so long that I

"It's impossible to get the stink of desperation off and causes me to interview very poorly." followed by "I have been abused and neglected for so long that I'm unable to let go of my victim complex. Please help. If you need a remote web developer with 10+yrs of PHP / Node experience please DM me" is kinda rough... It seems like you may be your own worse enemy here. You usually don't need portfolio pieces to find a new job. You have 10 years of experience. I can't speak to your mental health, and I wish you the best on that. However, appearing desperate in a job interview is in general a red flag (and you know this). Just keep on applying and interviewing. Stop brooding over the things your coworkers are doing wrong (guess what: they probably can say the same about you). You don't need to give specifics about where you work so much, you can "make things up" (just don't lie about your abilities). Also, if you don't have savings for extended job breaks, that sounds like something you should start on because a job is not worth ruining your life over. Good luck :(