Because I don't want to build and maintain an API endpoint to give me an HTML blob for the users age, and another one for their full name, and another one just

Because I don't want to build and maintain an API endpoint to give me an HTML blob for the users age, and another one for their full name, and another one just for their first name, and another one for figuring out what day of the year is their birthday. I want adding these features to my UI to be a client-side-only change.