Before this incident (I've been through a few disasters and violent incidents), I was already on my 13th antidepressant (vilazodone) which doesn't appear to be

Before this incident (I've been through a few disasters and violent incidents), I was already on my 13th antidepressant (vilazodone) which doesn't appear to be working. Also on propranolol, clonidine, atomoxetine, carbamazepine, baclofen, gabapentin, and 40 mg/day of CBD. I buy CBD isolate (pure CBD) in bulk and make my own sublingual tincture using a precisely-measured ratio of ingredients comprising: - Organic coconut oil - Vitamin E T50 - Grape seed / citrus extract - CBD in a dark glass container filled into sterile saline spray bottles for use. If you don't do this, then you're probably either being cheated or don't know what you're taking. Anyhow, so far this new antidepressant doesn't seem to be working so the dose is getting upped. If this doesn't work, it's back to mirtazapine and weight gain. The only other options involve anticholinergics, extrapyramidal issues, electricity, magnets, and/or brain surgery. I also have gradually, over the past few years, developed some sort of neurological decline vaguely reminiscent of vascular, frontotemporal, or Lewy body dementia or chronic traumatic encephalopathy (I was born cyanotic over several hours because of incompetent Kaiser Permanente doctors and was hit in the head extremely hard as a teenager twice and didn't receive proper medical care). I can barely speak, I stutter a lot, my memory is disappearing, and my level of consciousness and clarity is declining. I can't code in any language anymore and I used to work in Rust, Haskell, C, Crystal, and so on. My sleep is a mess... one or a few hours here and there at all times of the day. I use every bit of concentration to write this. If it's an incurable condition, I will go somewhere very, very remote in Montana or Wyoming and breathe nitrogen.