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Good! I don't post photos of my kids on the internet and I get so annoyed when other people take it upon themselves to post them for me. Clearview AI has made i

Good! I don't post photos of my kids on the internet and I get so annoyed when other people take it upon themselves to post them for me. Clearview AI has made it even more clear than it already was that any data you give these companies can and will be used against you.

TeMPOraL 6y ago
My wife and I have the same opinion. So far, both sides of our family are complying to our wishes, except that one or two times my in-laws managed to put our kid in a Facebook story by accident - apparently the Messenger app is confusing enough that they don't even realize when it happens.
- sneak 6y ago
  The trick is to ban visitor smartphones and not to have an account, which is the only way to actually disable Messenger.
  - ryanmcdonough 6y ago
    Which world are you living in where banning visitors having their phones is a reasonable thing to happen?
    - pier25 6y ago
      I think it was a joke
    - deleted 6y ago
      [deleted]
    - sneak 6y ago
      It is a common social custom in my circles to not use one’s phone when visiting the homes of others as a guest, a faux pas on the same order as bringing an uninvited stranger along as your guest in a visit to someone’s home. Taking non-macro or identifying photos, especially of the residents or other guests, would be quite rude without advance permission. I grant that many of my friends and associates may be more privacy-oriented than most, but it isn’t just tech/nerds-who-use-Tor.
    - cuddlybacon 6y ago
      I think it is an over-reaction problems that stem from the fact there aren't established cell-phone norms yet. Some people expect immediate replies to their text messages. This is a big problem with current teens, where their parents will demand this from them. But even some adults do this with other adults. Some people adapt to this by learning they need to respond to every message asap or else! Other people are more willing to treat phone messaging as something that is strictly asynchronous. I think most people are between these two extremes and vary on a case by case basis. There also isn't consistent norms with how much phone use is acceptable in front of other people. Some tolerate nearly none (see the person you responded to). Some tolerate use motivated by the social situation (eg you look up something directly related to a conversation). Some tolerate only responding to VIPs (spouse, children). Some tolerate any kind of use as long as it isn't too much (I perceive this to be the most common, but it is also the vaguest). Some tolerate unlimited use (I've seen entire tables of people together at a restaurant on their phones the entire time). One aspect that I find... disappointing is that an individual person's position on the first issue may not be compatible with the second issue. I know some people who would both demand only social motivated phone use when with others, but also demand immediate responses to their messages. To me these seem fundamentally incompatible. There also doesn't seem to be a social custom of replying that you are with others and won't be particularly responsive for a while.
      - TeMPOraL 6y ago
        > One aspect that I find... disappointing is that an individual person's position on the first issue may not be compatible with the second issue. The worst version of it that I've experienced is a person who unilaterally decides to grant themselves unrestricted use of the phone, while simultaneously demanding I stick to minimum/social-situation use only. This assymetry annoys the hell out of me, and I've had some heated arguments about it. I don't mind if someone is glued to their phone, but I expect to be treated no worse than the person expects to be treated themselves.
  - TeMPOraL 6y ago
    In our case we send these photos to in-laws ourselves, and every now and then they futz something in just the right way to put one of these photos in a story.
- pier25 6y ago
  I wish people did not assume it's ok to upload photos of others to Facebook et al and were more aware about the implications. We don't have kids but I do not want photos of myself posted to Facebook. Family meetings are always super uncomfortable. Some family members tell me in advance they will not upload the picture to Facebook but other people simply get upset with me.
PascLeRasc 6y ago
A family friend does the same thing with their kid, and I really respect that. I feel bad for them too, because I've been present for them asking other people to not take photos, and some of them start nearly frothing at the mouth about "PC culture" or "That's so stupid". My father takes photos of us without asking or saying anything at all, even if we're not looking at the camera at all, and will post that onto Facebook. It really bothers me and I'm glad to hear others agree.

TeMPOraL 6y ago

My wife and I have the same opinion. So far, both sides of our family are complying to our wishes, except that one or two times my in-laws managed to put our kid in a Facebook story by accident - apparently the Messenger app is confusing enough that they don't even realize when it happens.

sneak 6y ago
The trick is to ban visitor smartphones and not to have an account, which is the only way to actually disable Messenger.
- ryanmcdonough 6y ago
  Which world are you living in where banning visitors having their phones is a reasonable thing to happen?
  - pier25 6y ago
    I think it was a joke
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
  - sneak 6y ago
    It is a common social custom in my circles to not use one’s phone when visiting the homes of others as a guest, a faux pas on the same order as bringing an uninvited stranger along as your guest in a visit to someone’s home. Taking non-macro or identifying photos, especially of the residents or other guests, would be quite rude without advance permission. I grant that many of my friends and associates may be more privacy-oriented than most, but it isn’t just tech/nerds-who-use-Tor.
  - cuddlybacon 6y ago
    I think it is an over-reaction problems that stem from the fact there aren't established cell-phone norms yet. Some people expect immediate replies to their text messages. This is a big problem with current teens, where their parents will demand this from them. But even some adults do this with other adults. Some people adapt to this by learning they need to respond to every message asap or else! Other people are more willing to treat phone messaging as something that is strictly asynchronous. I think most people are between these two extremes and vary on a case by case basis. There also isn't consistent norms with how much phone use is acceptable in front of other people. Some tolerate nearly none (see the person you responded to). Some tolerate use motivated by the social situation (eg you look up something directly related to a conversation). Some tolerate only responding to VIPs (spouse, children). Some tolerate any kind of use as long as it isn't too much (I perceive this to be the most common, but it is also the vaguest). Some tolerate unlimited use (I've seen entire tables of people together at a restaurant on their phones the entire time). One aspect that I find... disappointing is that an individual person's position on the first issue may not be compatible with the second issue. I know some people who would both demand only social motivated phone use when with others, but also demand immediate responses to their messages. To me these seem fundamentally incompatible. There also doesn't seem to be a social custom of replying that you are with others and won't be particularly responsive for a while.
    - TeMPOraL 6y ago
      > One aspect that I find... disappointing is that an individual person's position on the first issue may not be compatible with the second issue. The worst version of it that I've experienced is a person who unilaterally decides to grant themselves unrestricted use of the phone, while simultaneously demanding I stick to minimum/social-situation use only. This assymetry annoys the hell out of me, and I've had some heated arguments about it. I don't mind if someone is glued to their phone, but I expect to be treated no worse than the person expects to be treated themselves.
- TeMPOraL 6y ago
  In our case we send these photos to in-laws ourselves, and every now and then they futz something in just the right way to put one of these photos in a story.
pier25 6y ago
I wish people did not assume it's ok to upload photos of others to Facebook et al and were more aware about the implications. We don't have kids but I do not want photos of myself posted to Facebook. Family meetings are always super uncomfortable. Some family members tell me in advance they will not upload the picture to Facebook but other people simply get upset with me.

PascLeRasc 6y ago

A family friend does the same thing with their kid, and I really respect that. I feel bad for them too, because I've been present for them asking other people to not take photos, and some of them start nearly frothing at the mouth about "PC culture" or "That's so stupid". My father takes photos of us without asking or saying anything at all, even if we're not looking at the camera at all, and will post that onto Facebook. It really bothers me and I'm glad to hear others agree.