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I am making this comment here as a late father of two in good faith. Please consider at least 1/3 of what I am trying to say. "Many folks in my social circles

I am making this comment here as a late father of two in good faith. Please consider at least 1/3 of what I am trying to say. "Many folks in my social circles are just less willing to accept the real responsibility of raising a child. We're all late-20-somethings/early 30-somethings and I have the conversation all the time with people who want to wait until things like careers are established," This is the eternal search for the "perfect time", "perfect conditions" as I sometimes said myself: "When I have more time, I will go to the Gym." "When I get more money I will be able to save." "All-in-all I've noticed a big generational gap in thinking on this one because all I hear from tons of older relatives is "sooo when you guys getting married?" ...or even pushing for children before the fact. It feels unnatural and downright weird to field those questions and it's neigh impossible to explain we're just taking our time to enjoy this thing and not rushing into huge commitments with marriage or kids..." No, there is not. I am in my forties and got the same questions. But you know what the real deal is? People are not asking about the children. They are polite, trying to alert you. Alert about: 1. Healthy babies and age of parents -> https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881604/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881604/ 2. What age will you be when your son wants to play/run at his 16 years? 3. We don't have control of life anytime. You may be Healthy now, but it only takes a disease to change it. 4. One thing is you did not use protection on your 20's and got pregnant another is willing to get pregnant later -> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility Life is a match competition game if you are aware or not. Older ladies compete against younger ladies (more fertile) Man compete with another man for physical security (muscles and tall) or financial security(money, resources). The main problem is sometimes you are having fun with someone that you can't see yourself having a family. Now about the other reasons to not have a baby: 1. The "earth", carbon resources, global warming -> Riiight it seems the propaganda only targets one part of the population that is not the part of the problem. 2. We just need more robots: That will be nice for you to live in a robotic nursery home. "Alexa! Give me my pills". 3. Immigration will complement: different people, different traditions, different morals. Don't get surprised later! Now consider at least 1/3 of what I said in good faith: 1. Are you spending your time with someone you can see raising a family? If not is like sleeping with a poisonous snake in your bedroom. One day it will bite you. 2. Did your past jobs/companies called you on holidays? Invited you for a BBQ? 3. Who profits from high IQ, working hard people not having kids? Have you checked how much a burrito breakfast is charged in a retirement home? How much is "dinner"? (microwave) Please consider it in good faith. What if 1/3 is true?

SketchySeaBeast 6y ago
You're basically just arguing from fear - missed opportunities, conflict, and difficulties if you wait.
- warranty 6y ago
  Fear is a good motivator you only get one chance at life so.
- superflit 6y ago
  No. There are facts that are real. Fertility, health, and age of parents. You can scream, get angry. But still are facts. The ideas you had once in the '20s may not be the ideas you will get on 30's and '40s. And that is ok. But as I said. What If 1/3 of what I said is true? I am not saying every body has to have kids. But I find myself having more females friends that "lost the train" and are bitter. It is no fun when you know someone that has all the skills and qualities to be an excellent mother realize she can't anymore. I don't feel happy to be "right" about it. My sadness is what makes me expose this even with a cost so someone else may benefit.
  - SketchySeaBeast 6y ago
    Why would I gamble on 1/3 odds? Does that make you 2/3rds likely to be wrong? There's a whole movement now of people coming out and saying that they don't like having kids - as a society we made that impossible to say without severe chastisement. We have no idea if the women in your life who regret it now would be happy with children. It's all a gamble, and tell people that their time is running out isn't particularly helpful, and running entirely on guilt. All right, though your manner of writing is extremely hard to parse, lets look at the arguments: 1. Healthy babies and age of parents -> https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881604/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881604/ Are non-optimal babies undesirable? 2. What age will you be when your son wants to play/run at his 16 years? At my current age I'll be in my 50's. I'm fitter in my 30's than I ever was in my 20's. Does 40's vs 50's make that much of a difference? 3. We don't have control of life anytime. You may be Healthy now, but it only takes a disease to change it. This isn't compelling if I get sick I won't want to have kids. Rushing to have kids only to die is actually incredibly selfish. 4. One thing is you did not use protection on your 20's and got pregnant another is willing to get pregnant later -> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility I don't know what you're saying here. Try more? For something I don't want? Later on: 1. Are you spending your time with someone you can see raising a family? If not is like sleeping with a poisonous snake in your bedroom. One day it will bite you. Yes, but neither she nor I want one. 2. Did your past jobs/companies called you on holidays? Invited you for a BBQ? The company has a BBQ, yes. So... I guess that's covered? 3. Who profits from high IQ, working hard people not having kids? Have you checked how much a burrito breakfast is charged in a retirement home? How much is "dinner"? (microwave) Is it my duty to take care of my parents? That's another selfish argument. Also, it's a bit conceited to assume high IQ.

SketchySeaBeast 6y ago

You're basically just arguing from fear - missed opportunities, conflict, and difficulties if you wait.

warranty 6y ago
Fear is a good motivator you only get one chance at life so.
superflit 6y ago
No. There are facts that are real. Fertility, health, and age of parents. You can scream, get angry. But still are facts. The ideas you had once in the '20s may not be the ideas you will get on 30's and '40s. And that is ok. But as I said. What If 1/3 of what I said is true? I am not saying every body has to have kids. But I find myself having more females friends that "lost the train" and are bitter. It is no fun when you know someone that has all the skills and qualities to be an excellent mother realize she can't anymore. I don't feel happy to be "right" about it. My sadness is what makes me expose this even with a cost so someone else may benefit.
- SketchySeaBeast 6y ago
  Why would I gamble on 1/3 odds? Does that make you 2/3rds likely to be wrong? There's a whole movement now of people coming out and saying that they don't like having kids - as a society we made that impossible to say without severe chastisement. We have no idea if the women in your life who regret it now would be happy with children. It's all a gamble, and tell people that their time is running out isn't particularly helpful, and running entirely on guilt. All right, though your manner of writing is extremely hard to parse, lets look at the arguments: 1. Healthy babies and age of parents -> https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881604/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881604/ Are non-optimal babies undesirable? 2. What age will you be when your son wants to play/run at his 16 years? At my current age I'll be in my 50's. I'm fitter in my 30's than I ever was in my 20's. Does 40's vs 50's make that much of a difference? 3. We don't have control of life anytime. You may be Healthy now, but it only takes a disease to change it. This isn't compelling if I get sick I won't want to have kids. Rushing to have kids only to die is actually incredibly selfish. 4. One thing is you did not use protection on your 20's and got pregnant another is willing to get pregnant later -> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility I don't know what you're saying here. Try more? For something I don't want? Later on: 1. Are you spending your time with someone you can see raising a family? If not is like sleeping with a poisonous snake in your bedroom. One day it will bite you. Yes, but neither she nor I want one. 2. Did your past jobs/companies called you on holidays? Invited you for a BBQ? The company has a BBQ, yes. So... I guess that's covered? 3. Who profits from high IQ, working hard people not having kids? Have you checked how much a burrito breakfast is charged in a retirement home? How much is "dinner"? (microwave) Is it my duty to take care of my parents? That's another selfish argument. Also, it's a bit conceited to assume high IQ.