3 ms·

that's not condescending at all

glitchc 6y ago
I'm sorry if it sounds condescending. It really is the truth. When it comes to a child, it's only after experiencing both sides that one can truly decide which is better.
- aianus 6y ago
  Were you a millionaire early retiree before you accidentally had a child and had to go back to the rat race? Otherwise you don’t know what both sides are like, either, right? (For what it’s worth I still think you would be happier with your kids but you don’t really know that)
  - glitchc 6y ago
    Not even close, just a regular grad student from a lower middle class family. I also didn't say anything about happier. The words I used were "grounded" and "perspective". I made an objective statement, not a subjective one.
- UEMayChange 6y ago
  It doesn't sound condescending, it is condescending. It can't be that hard for you to see that there are other ways of broadening one's perspective than having a kid.
  - glitchc 6y ago
    Having traveled the world by now, experiencing different cultures, cuisines and work environments, there's really no analog to the experience of rearing a child. It broadens your perspective in a different manner, unlike the other ones. You are probably tired of having everyone with kids say the same thing to you again and again, in different ways. I get it. But you have to admit, there must be some fire to all that smoke. I do agree with the other posters though: If kids are not of interest, it is better, on average, not to have one. The world is full of unwanted children. Just recognize that there is a consequence attached to not having this experience. As in other things, there's no free lunch.
JoeAltmaier 6y ago
What about 'true'? Never mind how its said; isn't it possible that having children changes one's perspective?
- Izkata 6y ago
  Absolutely, and people who don't have kids say the same thing - but framed so entirely differently it's like different worlds. For example: When people have kids they focus so much on them that they lose all personality, often becoming flat stereotypes of parents that are, for lack of a better word, boring or annoying to even be around. I don't care to lose who I am, so I'm not planning on kids.
  - JoeAltmaier 6y ago
    Wow that's a twisted interpretation. Perhaps they become people uninterested in the trivia that used to consume them? And so seem to become boring to someone still in that frame? Talking about condescending, that comment takes the cake.
  - glitchc 6y ago
    > Absolutely, and people who don't have kids say the same thing - but framed so entirely differently it's like different worlds. Everyone who has kids were, at one point, folks who didn't have kids. Those with kids do have the benefit of seeing both sides, like it or not.
    - meddlepal 6y ago
      On the other hand, there's definitely something to be said for missing an additional 18+ years of freedom that not having kids allows a person to have. That's an experience parents don't get to have and since most people are having kids in there 30's that's a lot of very prime time to sacrifice that is massively different from the few years of adulthood (their 20's) that they did experience.

I'm sorry if it sounds condescending. It really is the truth. When it comes to a child, it's only after experiencing both sides that one can truly decide which is better.

aianus 6y ago
Were you a millionaire early retiree before you accidentally had a child and had to go back to the rat race? Otherwise you don’t know what both sides are like, either, right? (For what it’s worth I still think you would be happier with your kids but you don’t really know that)
- glitchc 6y ago
  Not even close, just a regular grad student from a lower middle class family. I also didn't say anything about happier. The words I used were "grounded" and "perspective". I made an objective statement, not a subjective one.
UEMayChange 6y ago
It doesn't sound condescending, it is condescending. It can't be that hard for you to see that there are other ways of broadening one's perspective than having a kid.
- glitchc 6y ago
  Having traveled the world by now, experiencing different cultures, cuisines and work environments, there's really no analog to the experience of rearing a child. It broadens your perspective in a different manner, unlike the other ones. You are probably tired of having everyone with kids say the same thing to you again and again, in different ways. I get it. But you have to admit, there must be some fire to all that smoke. I do agree with the other posters though: If kids are not of interest, it is better, on average, not to have one. The world is full of unwanted children. Just recognize that there is a consequence attached to not having this experience. As in other things, there's no free lunch.

JoeAltmaier 6y ago

What about 'true'? Never mind how its said; isn't it possible that having children changes one's perspective?

Izkata 6y ago
Absolutely, and people who don't have kids say the same thing - but framed so entirely differently it's like different worlds. For example: When people have kids they focus so much on them that they lose all personality, often becoming flat stereotypes of parents that are, for lack of a better word, boring or annoying to even be around. I don't care to lose who I am, so I'm not planning on kids.
- JoeAltmaier 6y ago
  Wow that's a twisted interpretation. Perhaps they become people uninterested in the trivia that used to consume them? And so seem to become boring to someone still in that frame? Talking about condescending, that comment takes the cake.
- glitchc 6y ago
  > Absolutely, and people who don't have kids say the same thing - but framed so entirely differently it's like different worlds. Everyone who has kids were, at one point, folks who didn't have kids. Those with kids do have the benefit of seeing both sides, like it or not.
  - meddlepal 6y ago
    On the other hand, there's definitely something to be said for missing an additional 18+ years of freedom that not having kids allows a person to have. That's an experience parents don't get to have and since most people are having kids in there 30's that's a lot of very prime time to sacrifice that is massively different from the few years of adulthood (their 20's) that they did experience.