5 ms·

Kids aren't worth the headache (queue the parents telling me how their kid is the greatest thing that ever happened to them). I'd rather allocate the saved 500

Kids aren't worth the headache (queue the parents telling me how their kid is the greatest thing that ever happened to them). I'd rather allocate the saved 500K-1million dollars it costs to raise a kid and use it for myself.

abledon 6y ago
diff strokes for diff folks
patentatt 6y ago
Or, rather than making a value judgement; how about ‘to each his own’ and we can all make different decisions in life for ourselves and that’s OK.
brenden2 6y ago
I agree, but it's politically incorrect to acknowledge the fact that it's ok to not breed, and it's also ok to not want kids.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- yardie 6y ago
  The only people that are not okay with you having kids are your parents and politicians. The former out of cultural and familiar reasons. The latter because city/town bond ratings take a hit if the population isn't growing.
  - brenden2 6y ago
    To the contrary, my mom desperately wants me to have kids because that's something that would give her life meaning.
    - croon 6y ago
      I think they (GP) missed/flipped a negation, and meant the same thing as you.
rootusrootus 6y ago
Sounds like you have made the right decision.
chadash 6y ago
As a parent, I agree. It's a big expense and lots of work. I personally think it's well worth it for me personally, but for a lot of people, I agree that it's not worth the headache. I don't think there's anything wrong with using that extra time/money on yourself instead.
yardie 6y ago
As a parent I completely agree. A lot of people shouldn't have kids. The shitty parents that do have them do so out of obligations (culture or religion) or just sheer laziness, ie birth control was too hard and here we are. I question my ability as a parent everyday (as every parent should). Some people looking for companionship or loyalty should get a dog. Because your kids aren't that.
croon 6y ago
As a parent who loves their kid, and having waited and planned before going into it, I encourage anyone who doesn't 100% want a kid to not have any, and applaud them for it. We need <some> kids, but neither the kid, the parent nor the world will be better off by having kids whom the parents didn't want. I imagine a vanishingly small amount of parents would say they regret having kids post-fact, but it's fairly obvious who were mentally prepared (and willing) and who weren't, when meeting other parents.
glitchc 6y ago
I thought much the same for the longest time... until we had one by accident. Rearing a child grounds you in a way you cannot imagine at this moment. Looking back, I realize not having a kid was just me trying to avoid making any hard choices in life. Now, when I interact with colleagues who don't have kids, I see a certain shallowness of perspective that, in retrospect, I myself was guilty of. None of them ever really grew up.
- bagacrap 6y ago
  that's not condescending at all
  - glitchc 6y ago
    I'm sorry if it sounds condescending. It really is the truth. When it comes to a child, it's only after experiencing both sides that one can truly decide which is better.
    - aianus 6y ago
      Were you a millionaire early retiree before you accidentally had a child and had to go back to the rat race? Otherwise you don’t know what both sides are like, either, right? (For what it’s worth I still think you would be happier with your kids but you don’t really know that)
      - glitchc 6y ago
        Not even close, just a regular grad student from a lower middle class family. I also didn't say anything about happier. The words I used were "grounded" and "perspective". I made an objective statement, not a subjective one.
    - UEMayChange 6y ago
      It doesn't sound condescending, it is condescending. It can't be that hard for you to see that there are other ways of broadening one's perspective than having a kid.

abledon 6y ago

diff strokes for diff folks

patentatt 6y ago

Or, rather than making a value judgement; how about ‘to each his own’ and we can all make different decisions in life for ourselves and that’s OK.

brenden2 6y ago

I agree, but it's politically incorrect to acknowledge the fact that it's ok to not breed, and it's also ok to not want kids.

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
yardie 6y ago
The only people that are not okay with you having kids are your parents and politicians. The former out of cultural and familiar reasons. The latter because city/town bond ratings take a hit if the population isn't growing.
- brenden2 6y ago
  To the contrary, my mom desperately wants me to have kids because that's something that would give her life meaning.
  - croon 6y ago
    I think they (GP) missed/flipped a negation, and meant the same thing as you.

rootusrootus 6y ago

Sounds like you have made the right decision.

chadash 6y ago

As a parent, I agree. It's a big expense and lots of work. I personally think it's well worth it for me personally, but for a lot of people, I agree that it's not worth the headache. I don't think there's anything wrong with using that extra time/money on yourself instead.

yardie 6y ago

As a parent I completely agree. A lot of people shouldn't have kids. The shitty parents that do have them do so out of obligations (culture or religion) or just sheer laziness, ie birth control was too hard and here we are. I question my ability as a parent everyday (as every parent should). Some people looking for companionship or loyalty should get a dog. Because your kids aren't that.

croon 6y ago

As a parent who loves their kid, and having waited and planned before going into it, I encourage anyone who doesn't 100% want a kid to not have any, and applaud them for it. We need <some> kids, but neither the kid, the parent nor the world will be better off by having kids whom the parents didn't want. I imagine a vanishingly small amount of parents would say they regret having kids post-fact, but it's fairly obvious who were mentally prepared (and willing) and who weren't, when meeting other parents.

glitchc 6y ago

I thought much the same for the longest time... until we had one by accident. Rearing a child grounds you in a way you cannot imagine at this moment. Looking back, I realize not having a kid was just me trying to avoid making any hard choices in life. Now, when I interact with colleagues who don't have kids, I see a certain shallowness of perspective that, in retrospect, I myself was guilty of. None of them ever really grew up.

bagacrap 6y ago
that's not condescending at all
- glitchc 6y ago
  I'm sorry if it sounds condescending. It really is the truth. When it comes to a child, it's only after experiencing both sides that one can truly decide which is better.
  - aianus 6y ago
    Were you a millionaire early retiree before you accidentally had a child and had to go back to the rat race? Otherwise you don’t know what both sides are like, either, right? (For what it’s worth I still think you would be happier with your kids but you don’t really know that)
    - glitchc 6y ago
      Not even close, just a regular grad student from a lower middle class family. I also didn't say anything about happier. The words I used were "grounded" and "perspective". I made an objective statement, not a subjective one.
  - UEMayChange 6y ago
    It doesn't sound condescending, it is condescending. It can't be that hard for you to see that there are other ways of broadening one's perspective than having a kid.