I think that technically, Google and Facebook aren't to blame for these ads. They can slap as many labels on their users as they want, but it's up to the advert

I think that technically, Google and Facebook aren't to blame for these ads. They can slap as many labels on their users as they want, but it's up to the advertiser (at least on facebook) whether they want to target based on those categories and interests, or if they just use the default 18-35 (male) targeting that they think will work better. One of the reasons I started blocking ads on youtube was the unskippable horror movie ads; I can imagine that it would be hard to narrow down "interest in horror movies" from your internet data, so they just target everyone, no matter how much I adjusted my advertising interests.