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Each of the `Excellent xxx' response you give differs in two important hitches from the `Insecure xxx': 1) it requires much common context, understanding, expe
by dexen 16y ago
Each of the `Excellent xxx' response you give differs in two important hitches from the `Insecure xxx':
1) it requires much common context, understanding, experience.
Everybody will understand a ``this sucks'' response, regardless of the reasoning behind it being clear.
Understanding a, and building better solution on, an involved response requires common understanding, common experience, between the parties of communication. (What the heck is a 4/2 split? I dunno, honestly; this response only serves as a distraction to me at that very moment).
Lacking common experience is a communication barrier hard to climb, thus frustrating. It may be that very precise subjects (like computer science) provide for more such barriers, thus more frustration.
2) the ``This sucks'' response lets you vent anger. Now there are two conflicting theories about controlling strong emotions... ;-)
- stuhacking 16y ago2) the ``This sucks'' response lets you vent anger. Now there are two conflicting theories about controlling strong emotions... ;-) I realise that this is intended for humour, but more seriously, I have experienced much better anger reduction when actually chatting amiably with someone and making a friendly recommendation. ``This sucks'' just passes on the negativity to others.
- gnaritas 16y ago> I have experienced much better anger reduction when actually chatting amiably Great for you, but not everyone is you; some people need to vent to feel better.
- joliss 16y agoI seem to recall that there are studies showing that venting isn't an effective tool to make you feel better, despite the popular "catharsis" meme. I can't find them right now, but here's a quote: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/a-few-more-things-pop-psychology-has-been-wro http://www.bakadesuyo.com/a-few-more-things-pop-psychology-h... In any case, if somebody feels the need to vent, I hope they don't do it where I end up reading them. ^^
- nollidge 16y agoThere was an episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit that pretty much says the same. If you have Netflix streaming, it's Episode 10 here: http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Penn_Teller_Bullsh_t_Season_5/70085700?trkid=2361637 http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Penn_Teller_Bullsh_t_Seaso...
- raytheon 16y agoElliot Aronson mentions a few studies in his "The Social Animal" book starting on page 263. I'll just briefly list the studies mentioned, in case anyone is interested: - Bushman, B. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger and aggressive responding. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, 28, 724-731 - Patterson, A. (1974, September). Hostility catharsis: A naturalistic quasi-experiment. paper presented at the annual convention of the American Psychological Assiociation, New Orleans. - Geen, R. (1981). Spectator moods at an aggresive sports event. Journal of Social Psychology, 3, 217-227. - Glass, D. (1964). Changes in liking as a means of reducing cognitive discrepancies between self-esteem and aggression. Journal of Personality, 32, 531-549. - Davis, K.E., & Jones, E.E. (1960). Changes in interpersonal perception as a means of reducing cognitive dissonance. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 61, 402-410. The conclusion seems to be a resounding no. Venting anger does not help, neither verbally nor physically.
- danssig 16y agoPenn & Teller? Talk about being condescending and passing on negativity!
- gnaritas 16y agoIt doesn't matter if it's effective or not (I agree that's it's not), people vent because they feel it helps them. Feelings are generally stronger than logic, even when they lead you down the wrong path. Most people are ruled by their emotions, not by their rational mind. Showing someone a study that says their feelings are wrong, will rarely, if ever, convince them to change how they feel. BTW, I'm not a venter, and I wasn't talking about me when I said some people.
- ScottBurson 16y ago> What the heck is a 4/2 split? OT, but in case you're actually wondering, it refers to the number of cards of a given suit held by each of the defenders. In bridge, there are four players, conventionally called North, East, South, and West; after the auction, one player becomes declarer; let's say that's South. In this case, North, across the table, is dummy, and East and West, on either side, are defenders. Dummy's cards are turned face up so everyone can see them; declarer plays both her own hand and dummy's. When declarer sees a total of seven clubs (let's say) in her own and dummy's hand, she knows that the defenders have six clubs between them, but she doesn't in general know how many each defender has; this is called the "split". A 3/3 split means each has three; a 4/2 split means one has four and the other has two. Usually, even splits favor declarer while uneven splits favor the defenders, but there are exceptions.
- dexen 16y agoThanks, now I understand why I should stick to Texas hold 'em for now ;-) </OffTopic>
- derleth 16y agoReminds me of this Discworld quote: "DID YOU SAY HUMANS PLAY IT FOR FUN?" "Some of them get to be very good at it, yes. I'm only an amateur, I'm afraid" "BUT THEY ONLY LIVE EIGHTY OR NINETY YEARS!" - Death discusses the difficulties of bridge http://homepage.eircom.net/~odyssey/Quotes/Popular/SciFi/Terry_Pratchett.html http://homepage.eircom.net/~odyssey/Quotes/Popular/SciFi/Ter...
- mcantor 16y agoBut what's the point of making a response that everyone understands if you're not really saying anything?