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> They are women who have chosen to stay at a male stranger's house They are people who have chosen to stay at a stranger's house > Do you think women are co

> They are women who have chosen to stay at a male stranger's house They are people who have chosen to stay at a stranger's house > Do you think women are completely naïve about how the world works No, but I don't think they want to have to take every decision based on probability of getting raped > I've known two women who couch surf and it was de rigueur to have sex with their hosts And I know male hosts who had sex with their male visitors. Does that mean that if I couchsurf at a man's flat I should be expecting intercourse for my bed?

globular-toast 6y ago
You seem to be confused between what you think should be true versus what actually is true. If you think women can afford to take the same risks as men when travelling then I just really don't know what to say to you. That's just hopelessly naïve. Attractive girls learn very early on that every man wants to have sex with them. It's just part of life for them. > Does that mean that if I couchsurf at a man's flat I should be expecting intercourse for my bed? No, but if I were you I would at least consider that there might be a "misunderstanding" leading to you having to find alternative accommodation.
- namdnay 6y ago
  > what you think should be true versus what actually is true That's what laws are for. Shaping society so that it's like what we want rather than the jungle > If you think women can afford to take the same risks as men when travelling When did anyone in this thread ever say that? > No, but if I were you I would at least consider that there might be a "misunderstanding" leading to you having to find alternative accommodation I'd prefer to live in a world where I don't have to make that choice, hence society shunning people who would put others in that position
- buttersbrian 6y ago
  > No, but if I were you I would at least consider that there might be a "misunderstanding" leading to you having to find alternative accommodation. Why, on a site like couchsurfing, would there be any implied sex, or opportunity for misunderstanding around 'sex for surfing'? It's blatantly outside the standards and norms of the community.
  - CapricornNoble 6y ago
    I think he's arguing (and I would agree) that it is blatantly WITHIN the standards and norms for some dudes to complete ignore community mores and bend/break every rule imaginable to get laid. The risk is non-zero. At the individual level, everyone should acknowledge the risk, assess it, and implement control measures to reduce its potential impacts on you, personally. To fail to account for it is simply dangerously naive. I don't think I've used Couchsurfer since....2012? Roughly the same time I discovered Tinder. I absolutely treated CS as a dating site where you had to be extremely discrete/low-key in your approach. I rarely offered my couch but did offer local tour guide-like services to cute women which was essentially a first date. I would never consider staying at a male host's place; even as a Marine I would assume the rape/murder risk too high. Maybe I'm just a misanthropic cynic but I don't trust anyone to behave themselves. I also have never seen the appeal of the "broke backpacker" travel methodology, perhaps colored by experiences living out of a backpack in the military, which usually sucks. If I have the money to fly halfway around the world, I should have the money to afford comfortable private accommodations. If I'm going to mingle, I'd prefer to mingle with the locals rather than other foreigners on a shoestring budget (or rich people PRETENDING to be on a shoestring budget).
    - namdnay 6y ago
      > If I'm going to mingle, I'd prefer to mingle with the locals rather than other foreigners I don't understand you here: that's the whole point of couchsurfing! You're staying with "real people", instead of yet another backpacker hostel
      - CapricornNoble 6y ago
        Sorry I kinda jumped subjects mid-post from Couchsurfing to backpacking, after reading some comments of how many CS guests are just trying to get a dirt-cheap roof over their head and don't interact much with their host. I don't recall many "local single woman hosting single guy" posts back in 2011-12 when I used CS anyway, not for places I was considering (Eastern Europe and SE Asia).
    - 6y ago

globular-toast 6y ago

You seem to be confused between what you think should be true versus what actually is true. If you think women can afford to take the same risks as men when travelling then I just really don't know what to say to you. That's just hopelessly naïve. Attractive girls learn very early on that every man wants to have sex with them. It's just part of life for them. > Does that mean that if I couchsurf at a man's flat I should be expecting intercourse for my bed? No, but if I were you I would at least consider that there might be a "misunderstanding" leading to you having to find alternative accommodation.

namdnay 6y ago
> what you think should be true versus what actually is true That's what laws are for. Shaping society so that it's like what we want rather than the jungle > If you think women can afford to take the same risks as men when travelling When did anyone in this thread ever say that? > No, but if I were you I would at least consider that there might be a "misunderstanding" leading to you having to find alternative accommodation I'd prefer to live in a world where I don't have to make that choice, hence society shunning people who would put others in that position
buttersbrian 6y ago
> No, but if I were you I would at least consider that there might be a "misunderstanding" leading to you having to find alternative accommodation. Why, on a site like couchsurfing, would there be any implied sex, or opportunity for misunderstanding around 'sex for surfing'? It's blatantly outside the standards and norms of the community.
- CapricornNoble 6y ago
  I think he's arguing (and I would agree) that it is blatantly WITHIN the standards and norms for some dudes to complete ignore community mores and bend/break every rule imaginable to get laid. The risk is non-zero. At the individual level, everyone should acknowledge the risk, assess it, and implement control measures to reduce its potential impacts on you, personally. To fail to account for it is simply dangerously naive. I don't think I've used Couchsurfer since....2012? Roughly the same time I discovered Tinder. I absolutely treated CS as a dating site where you had to be extremely discrete/low-key in your approach. I rarely offered my couch but did offer local tour guide-like services to cute women which was essentially a first date. I would never consider staying at a male host's place; even as a Marine I would assume the rape/murder risk too high. Maybe I'm just a misanthropic cynic but I don't trust anyone to behave themselves. I also have never seen the appeal of the "broke backpacker" travel methodology, perhaps colored by experiences living out of a backpack in the military, which usually sucks. If I have the money to fly halfway around the world, I should have the money to afford comfortable private accommodations. If I'm going to mingle, I'd prefer to mingle with the locals rather than other foreigners on a shoestring budget (or rich people PRETENDING to be on a shoestring budget).
  - namdnay 6y ago
    > If I'm going to mingle, I'd prefer to mingle with the locals rather than other foreigners I don't understand you here: that's the whole point of couchsurfing! You're staying with "real people", instead of yet another backpacker hostel
    - CapricornNoble 6y ago
      Sorry I kinda jumped subjects mid-post from Couchsurfing to backpacking, after reading some comments of how many CS guests are just trying to get a dirt-cheap roof over their head and don't interact much with their host. I don't recall many "local single woman hosting single guy" posts back in 2011-12 when I used CS anyway, not for places I was considering (Eastern Europe and SE Asia).
  - 6y ago