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“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.” - Stendhal Maybe this is one part of the explaination, since nerds are more likely to enjoy solita
by peakok 18y ago
“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.” - Stendhal
Maybe this is one part of the explaination, since nerds are more likely to enjoy solitary activities.
edit : if you just want your children to avoid the nightmare you have endured yourself, they don't need to seek popularity but only respect. All it takes to earn respect is some character. The interesting part is : how to help them develop this trait ?
edit2 : I cannot find it on Wikipedia, but the extended biography of Arthur Conan Doyle might give a hint. If I recall correctly, he interrupted his studies for one year and engaged in a journey on a fishing boat who was hunting whales in Antartic (or was it North Pole ?). While it doesn't sound very romantic, it is known that when he went back from his trip, he wasn't the same man. The former inexistant shy guy (probably a nerd) became famous on the campus because of it's popularity among female students (he was known as dating multiple girls at once).
Who knows what happened during his journey, but it was definitly very formative. He didn't do any "dumb stuff" to become popular, and didn't even seek to become popular, but he just returned as a different man.
- huherto 18y agoGreat insight. It is not being popular what matters, it is to have character.
- chris_l 18y agoAbout ACD: well, that was as a student, not in high school which is what the essay is about, but ok. Could you be more specific about what you mean with "character"?
- peakok 18y agoTo (over-)simplify : some boldness.
- eugenejen 18y agoInteresting. I found the same thing when I needed to get into military service. Though it is not as pleasant as what Doyle experienced. I think after exposure to real world and learned to team with others, a boy becomes a man by learning from mistakes and learning to take responsibility in his life. I guess that becomes attractive to other people.
- pg 18y agothey don't need to seek popularity but only respect. All it takes to earn respect is some character. Where I went to high school, the way people were treated was not a function of character. Think about all the people who've been maltreated at school. Are you saying it was because they all lacked character?
- peakok 18y agoWhy are some teachers respected and others just get eaten alive by all their classrooms ? There is a trick beyond each illusion.
- apu 18y agoWith no exceptions at my high school, the respected teachers respected their students. This appears to be a necessary condition, but not a sufficient one -- there were some teachers who respected the students but weren't themselves respected (for various reasons).
- mroman 18y agoThe high school I went to was the same, it had nothing to do with character, even if an aggressive disposition is included in the definition of character (I HAD to be rather aggressive just to keep the worst bullies at bay) What was interesting about my experience was that - while I was indeed a nerd - I was at the same time considered "cool" by many (I wore my hair long and dressed in an outlandish manner) but the majority of kids there did not like or respect me.