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I don't mean to be personal or rude - I only say this because someone said it to me once and it helped me. Your experiences in comment threads are often a refl

I don't mean to be personal or rude - I only say this because someone said it to me once and it helped me. Your experiences in comment threads are often a reflection of what YOU write. Hostile people get hostility, humble people often get humbleness in return. Looking at this comment thread, some of the problems you mention in this comment have come up and perhaps it's worth considering whether that is due to how you write your comments.

DoreenMichele 6y ago
I've spent a lot of time in therapy. If it were somehow the way I write, I would be thrilled to pieces to learn that fact and correct it. After nearly 11 years of being told things like "On the internet, no one knows you're a dog if you don't tell them" and having it suggested to me that if my gender is an issue, I should simply hide that fact, I'm pretty darn sure it's not the way I write. It's the way the world reacts to women.
- solidasparagus 6y ago
  Here's what I saw: you interpreted some benign comments as hostile and responded hostilely [1][2]. Your comments feel like you are dismissing the idea that men struggle too and aren't particularly interested in the comments that disagree, but you have other comments where you are unhappy people don't go out of their way to help with your problems [3]. That rubs people wrong. [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186124 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186124 [2] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186314 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186314 [3] So even the best of the best that I can find are still failing to go "I know! If we care about the status of women, we should figure out some kind of path forward on helping this very talented, intelligent, educated and persistent woman in our midst who has spent over a decade proving she's absolutely not some kind of man-hating feminazi."
- badrabbit 6y ago
  I wouldn't even know you are a woman unless you told me. I personally don't keep track of who says what (with exception of a few famous people). On HN, I feel at home in that what is said is viewed as important, logical reasoning and reproducible process are valued from what I have seen.
sevencolors 6y ago
Christ on a cracker, did you just shame someone for speaking their mind and having a strong opinion? ON THE INTERNET? Yes humble people can get humbleness in return. But there's a lot of people telling them they're still doing it wrong. Also, pro-tip. Starting out a sentence with "I don't mean to be rude" is a glaring clue that you're about to be a dick. Hugs & Kisses! <3

DoreenMichele 6y ago

I've spent a lot of time in therapy. If it were somehow the way I write, I would be thrilled to pieces to learn that fact and correct it. After nearly 11 years of being told things like "On the internet, no one knows you're a dog if you don't tell them" and having it suggested to me that if my gender is an issue, I should simply hide that fact, I'm pretty darn sure it's not the way I write. It's the way the world reacts to women.

solidasparagus 6y ago
Here's what I saw: you interpreted some benign comments as hostile and responded hostilely [1][2]. Your comments feel like you are dismissing the idea that men struggle too and aren't particularly interested in the comments that disagree, but you have other comments where you are unhappy people don't go out of their way to help with your problems [3]. That rubs people wrong. [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186124 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186124 [2] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186314 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23186314 [3] So even the best of the best that I can find are still failing to go "I know! If we care about the status of women, we should figure out some kind of path forward on helping this very talented, intelligent, educated and persistent woman in our midst who has spent over a decade proving she's absolutely not some kind of man-hating feminazi."
badrabbit 6y ago
I wouldn't even know you are a woman unless you told me. I personally don't keep track of who says what (with exception of a few famous people). On HN, I feel at home in that what is said is viewed as important, logical reasoning and reproducible process are valued from what I have seen.

sevencolors 6y ago

Christ on a cracker, did you just shame someone for speaking their mind and having a strong opinion? ON THE INTERNET? Yes humble people can get humbleness in return. But there's a lot of people telling them they're still doing it wrong. Also, pro-tip. Starting out a sentence with "I don't mean to be rude" is a glaring clue that you're about to be a dick. Hugs & Kisses! <3