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I've had to teach myself to touch everyone I meet (on the bottom of the elbow, or top of the shoulder), and start conversations with strangers in any situation.
by robertk 16y ago
I've had to teach myself to touch everyone I meet (on the bottom of the elbow, or top of the shoulder), and start conversations with strangers in any situation. I've met a good number of friends this way, and if the touching is done properly and subtly enough, it can instantly create a warmth that is hard to achieve any other way.
- fizx 16y agoAnd yet, when you say it on the internet, it just sounds creepy.
- arctangent 16y agoI suppose this is because touching people (and social interaction in general) comes naturally to most people, but not necessarily to people who spend time commenting on discussion forums on the internet :-)
- DTrejo 16y agoOnly because he couldn't touch you while saying it.
- panacea 16y agoI remember reading a comment the other day from someone who misunderstood the sarcastic tone of a previous comment. Paraphrasing 'it's so hard to discern nuance or sarcasm in a comment'. It would be a lot easier to parse if we hadn't collectively decided that emoticons were rendered passé through misuse.
- nickbp 16y ago(=゜-゜)ノ UTF is in style
- InfinityX0 16y agoOnly because I can't upvote more than once, have to say I bust out laughing at this one.
- phwd 16y agoI definitely love this method. I learned this in a workshop and was amazed at how people reacted as opposed to the tapping on the back. Works well for groups as well. Always approach from the side or the front.
- kolektiv 16y agoWe have a sales/marketing guy that does this. It's clearly a learned/trained pattern of behaviour (maybe you can hide it better!). Nobody ever mentions it, and acts in a friendly manner. However, when he's not there pretty much everyone comments on how creepy it is and how patronised they feel. Just something to consider - not saying that's the case with you, but this is a classic area where immediate or obvious reactions are often very different from inward feeling.
- deleted 16y ago[deleted]
- bane 16y agoI agree, nothing sets "I will not buy your crap" more firmly in my mind than a sales person that touches me physically.
- realitygrill 16y agoI always wonder about this - I used to be completely touch-avoidant, and trained myself to be less so (As you can probably tell, I'm not a sales/marketing guy). I don't think I'm unnatural about it, but how can you really tell? It's only blown up once.
- ballard 16y agoSome people could use to leave the canned pitch in the elevator.
- ballard 16y agoJust noticing the parallels that something social delivered too perfectly polished seems like a computer generated face with perfect symmetry, e.g., totally fake.
- carussell 16y agoYou probably meant "i.e.". "e.g." means "for example".
- saturn 16y ago
- DLWormwood 16y agoI was pretty much taught to never touch anyone in middle school. I attended a private school that assessed 15 “demerits” for Personal Contact Infractions. Really put a kibosh on my teenage and college years romantically and I am still paying the price to this day.
- mmaro 16y agoThe information that the smooth touchy people deduced automatically: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edh2GQHZmtI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edh2GQHZmtI (in case this link dies, it's Lance Mason's "How To Kino")
- khafra 16y agoBe prepared for this to fail more or less dramatically every now and then. Some people just don't like to be touched; I've met them.
- semanticist 16y agoI'm generally extremely uncomfortable touching people, even some people that I know pretty well. Depending on the exact situation, the kind of touching discussed here would result in either me flinching/pulling away, or being less subtle in my expression of dislike, in a strong Glaswegian accent.
- rararational 16y agoI can't help but think that you are doing something that you think works but in reality doesn't; if anyone decided to touch my shoulder it would definitely break my current concentration and make me wonder what the hell you are getting at, just seems like cheesy friendly guy with no regards to personal space. If you touched my elbow I'd probably just walk away (as an american raised male it just seems so wrong). It would probably be different though if it wasn't someone who I just met and had an accord with.
- rubashov 16y agoIn america the physical proximity and touching thing man-to-man is usually a power move. Alpha-dog moves into your personal space and puts a hand on your shoulder to emphasize who's boss. Or sometimes it's just done to throw the other guy off kilter. Be careful with this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNKNAK60AXk&t=1m10s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNKNAK60AXk&t=1m10s
- lhnz 16y agoI'm from the UK, but if a guy went up to me and put his arm around me while talking to me then that's what I consider it to be, too. There are a couple of guys that try to do this sometimes, and I've never quite been sure what the correct response is.
- dasil003 16y agoStop moving and stare them in the eye with a vaguely irritated look.
- salemh 16y agoFar different from a light touch on the elbow and "can I speak to you a second" or "you look familiar, have I seen you at _x_" but point taken.
- ballard 16y agoT-shirt idea: For your own safety . . . (Back) . . . don't touch anything on this side without permission. (Lower back) And if you're reading this and not a kid, pick yourself up and reread the above. Have a nice day.