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I used to learn web development after work, but homeschooling my kids doesn't leave me time for that anymore. I'm curious how devs with kids at home manage the

I used to learn web development after work, but homeschooling my kids doesn't leave me time for that anymore. I'm curious how devs with kids at home manage the current situation. The constant multitasking stresses me a lot, I feel incapable of doing anything tech-related that would involve deep focus. Does cleaning up the flat count as side project :D?

Sosh101 6y ago
Same. I've no idea how people with kids and others to keep happy are managing to squeeze in side projects.
- JshWright 6y ago
  I don't think they are, in most cases. I worked from home in the before time, so in theory not much has changed. In practice I have three kids, and it's a struggle just to maintain my baseline productivity.
  - nicmccool 6y ago
    In a way this is a relief to hear. I keep reading up on the excess productivity of others, while I'm pulling my hair out trying to manage normal work and my kids when on paper nothing much has changed given that I was WFH before this. It sucks, but I'm glad I'm not alone.
    - madskdc 6y ago
      One of the best things I heard from my company's CEO when they moved everyone over to WFH was 'your productivity is going to go down. It just is. It doesn't matter if you were fully WFH before, it's going to go down. And that's ok. And I've told your managers to expect it, and to not let you stress over it.' Then leadership modified the metrics that bonuses are calculated on, so that the slowdown wouldn't affect our ability to get them.
      - the_af 6y ago
        Same here. I had to clear this situation up with my boss, my stress levels are going through the roof and I just can't get things done (and every time I get "in the zone", I hear a thud and my baby has hurt herself again). Thankfully it turns out the bosses understand this situation and expect a massive productivity decline. I feel I've taken a load off my chest by bringing it up. Still feeling stressed, and of course, my company may tank, making the whole issue moot. I'm not sure I'm up for interviewing with the current situation, either...
- nrjames 6y ago
  I have a full time job that has moved to remote and my spouse is on Zoom calls most of the day for work. The only “side project” I have time for is managing my kids’ remote learning. They are 7 and 9 yrs old. There are so many links and logins and forms and downloads and uploads. I’ve learned. Lot about how Google Classrooms could be redesigned to improve independence of younger learners. Candidly, this is very difficult and my mental health is taking a serious hit.
  - swader999 6y ago
    I feel like I need a holiday, a few days off at least. Doesn't feel smart to ask for time off though and I don't really want to waste it either.
    - tilolebo 6y ago
      Well, I don't know the policy of your company, but at mine we've been encouraged to take some days if possible. Not only for mental health, but also to avoid that everyone take time off at the same time. On another hand we have 30+ days per year, I guess it's a different story if you only have 20 days or less.
      - nrjames 6y ago
        I can take time off and I did last week. However, I ended up just doing pretty much the same thing as when I was working, so it was a waste. What I really need is some time completely to myself, just sitting outside or something. It's my most precious resource right now and very hard to come by.
- zrail 6y ago
  My last real side project halted when my second kid was born almost two years ago. I likely won’t have time or energy to do another one for another two years, regardless of quarantine status.
  - karatestomp 6y ago
    Young kids are an 80 hour per week job. The only way anyone has time for paying work normally is school, daycare/relatives, or one partner dedicated to child-raising. Even for the non-child-caring parent the kids fill in the remaining 30-40 hours after the "real" job and commute. I don't think most people have much left after being switched "on" 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, week after week. How does anyone get stuff done beyond the requisite 40, with kids? Two proven strategies: 1) ignore the kids a lot, 2) hire help. That's what all those famous old guys who discovered all kinds of cool stuff or wrote amazing literature or philosophized or whatever, while also having kids, did. Probably there are super-humans out there who manage without doing those things, but I'm not convinced they're common enough to count on or to give much consideration. Nb some people will hire help but not really want to tell people they have—don't assume someone blogging about raising kids while doing 100 other things, or crushing it at work, hasn't hired help just because they don't mention it. Decent odds they have.
    - the_af 6y ago
      Agreed. > 1) ignore the kids a lot This is likely not the right answer. A lot of those "famous people" are horrible parents. Makes you wonder why they chose to have kids to begin with...
      - zrail 6y ago
        I mean...yes. That is pretty self evidently not the correct answer.
        the_af 6y ago
        Of course. I was being polite because I'm sure someone, somewhere, will defend it as the strategy that "worked" for them.
whafro 6y ago
I have a kindergartener and left my job at the end of March to volunteer on COVID efforts. Now, a month and a half into it, I work from ~6a-12p ET, then take over homeschooling while my wife works from 1-6p. When working, we're in the attic and not to be disturbed, and we keep pretty strict about that. I've always said that working parents know how to make the most of their 8-hour days in the office, and that's only been amplified. In general, I'm pedal-to-the-metal for my 5-6 hours a day, and then have our family lunch hour to recover before the not-really-relaxing homeschooling begins. We'll get a spot of work in most evenings, half-an-hour of TV, and then it's to bed to start it again the next day. As for my wife and I, we're both mostly exhausted and guilty – guilty that we're not getting more done at work (even though I'm volunteering!), not doing a better job on homeschooling, etc. When it's time to get a new job on my end, I'm really nervous about how it's going to go. I'd typically be doing 10-plus-hour days as I ramp up on new teams and material, but that's just impossible these days. In a normal world, I had lots of arguments for why a business should want to hire working parents, but right now it's really tough to justify. My kid is great, and certainly not a "tough" child by any real measure, but still... Camps and schools can't open up soon enough.
- tilolebo 6y ago
  I have a kindergartener and left my job at the end of March to volunteer on COVID efforts. Thank you so much for this! Teachers and educators really have a hard time these days.
  - whafro 6y ago
    Well, I'm not a teacher (I lead a USDR team), but they really do. When restrictions started, my wife and I set up twice-daily Zooms for our son's class while the schools figured out what to do. It was exhausting, but eventually our kid's teacher started joining them and now has taken them over. She also conducts a dozen "small group" sessions throughout the week, and juggles the wildness and lack of attention of kindergarteners with the responsibility of raising her own newborn. It's cray for everyone, just in different shapes and sizes.
    - 6y ago
sricks3 6y ago
I've had to put my side gig (building guitars) on hold. My wife and I both have day jobs, and we have a two year old. We take turns working and parenting, and it's not unusual for one or both of us to be up till 2 AM finishing work. I'm genuinely happy for everyone who has planted a new garden, taken up a new hobby, started a new software project, etc. For those of us who can't take our kids to daycare or school right now, though, quarantine has meant less time to do the things we already had to do.
- tenaciousDaniel 6y ago
  nice to see a luthier on HN! Electric or acoustic?
koheripbal 6y ago
We got an aupair for the kids. Best decision ever. My wife and I have never been so productive in our lives. 3 kids is a full time job.
- swader999 6y ago
  Same here! Similar to this thread they have "quarantine goals". One of them achieved theirs yesterday - front flip on the trampoline.
- bitcoinmoney 6y ago
  Where did you get?
  - koheripbal 6y ago
    culturalcare.com
deskamess 6y ago
I feel I have the grasp of the material but I cannot teach them about it. So things like long division are done with minimal explanation. I think I did okay with multidigit multiplication (ab * xy). In general, I feel the time I have spent explaining stuff to her is insufficient. Today she said she does not know how to write an essay. I kinda fudged it for the case in front of her (Intro, your points, an opposing point or two, conclusion). I think there is a better structure in teaching writing 'essays' - I just dont know how to teach that.
- jimktrains2 6y ago
  The "5 paragraph essay" (intro, 3 points, conclusion) is basically what you outlined but without the opposing points section, which sound valuable to include.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- lonelappde 6y ago
  Why isn't your school providing that information? You should be able to see what the school is teaching your kids so you can refer to it to.
sailfast 6y ago
You're not alone. And yes, cleaning up counts as a side project. Deep focus is really difficult. Without a checklist it's hard to get anything done, and there are a number of interruptions. As for learning / focus - typically that happens after they're in bed, and the time gets eaten from sleep, but I haven't been able to dig into anything deeper than a Raspberry Pi tinkering project.
danesparza 6y ago
Timebox your side project learning when the kids are asleep. (Even 30 mins a day adds up). Be sure to communicate with your significant other / spouse what desires are for this time and be clear about your time boundaries. Make sure you end when you say you're going to and reconnect with your spouse.
the_af 6y ago
My hobby used to be painting collectible miniatures (you know, Warhammer and the like) but since the lockdown I'm barely able to work, let alone spend time on hobbies. My baby takes all my spare time. > I'm curious how devs with kids at home manage the current situation I manage the situation by stressing a lot and panicking. Hope that helps!

Sosh101 6y ago

Same. I've no idea how people with kids and others to keep happy are managing to squeeze in side projects.

JshWright 6y ago
I don't think they are, in most cases. I worked from home in the before time, so in theory not much has changed. In practice I have three kids, and it's a struggle just to maintain my baseline productivity.
- nicmccool 6y ago
  In a way this is a relief to hear. I keep reading up on the excess productivity of others, while I'm pulling my hair out trying to manage normal work and my kids when on paper nothing much has changed given that I was WFH before this. It sucks, but I'm glad I'm not alone.
  - madskdc 6y ago
    One of the best things I heard from my company's CEO when they moved everyone over to WFH was 'your productivity is going to go down. It just is. It doesn't matter if you were fully WFH before, it's going to go down. And that's ok. And I've told your managers to expect it, and to not let you stress over it.' Then leadership modified the metrics that bonuses are calculated on, so that the slowdown wouldn't affect our ability to get them.
    - the_af 6y ago
      Same here. I had to clear this situation up with my boss, my stress levels are going through the roof and I just can't get things done (and every time I get "in the zone", I hear a thud and my baby has hurt herself again). Thankfully it turns out the bosses understand this situation and expect a massive productivity decline. I feel I've taken a load off my chest by bringing it up. Still feeling stressed, and of course, my company may tank, making the whole issue moot. I'm not sure I'm up for interviewing with the current situation, either...
nrjames 6y ago
I have a full time job that has moved to remote and my spouse is on Zoom calls most of the day for work. The only “side project” I have time for is managing my kids’ remote learning. They are 7 and 9 yrs old. There are so many links and logins and forms and downloads and uploads. I’ve learned. Lot about how Google Classrooms could be redesigned to improve independence of younger learners. Candidly, this is very difficult and my mental health is taking a serious hit.
- swader999 6y ago
  I feel like I need a holiday, a few days off at least. Doesn't feel smart to ask for time off though and I don't really want to waste it either.
  - tilolebo 6y ago
    Well, I don't know the policy of your company, but at mine we've been encouraged to take some days if possible. Not only for mental health, but also to avoid that everyone take time off at the same time. On another hand we have 30+ days per year, I guess it's a different story if you only have 20 days or less.
    - nrjames 6y ago
      I can take time off and I did last week. However, I ended up just doing pretty much the same thing as when I was working, so it was a waste. What I really need is some time completely to myself, just sitting outside or something. It's my most precious resource right now and very hard to come by.
zrail 6y ago
My last real side project halted when my second kid was born almost two years ago. I likely won’t have time or energy to do another one for another two years, regardless of quarantine status.
- karatestomp 6y ago
  Young kids are an 80 hour per week job. The only way anyone has time for paying work normally is school, daycare/relatives, or one partner dedicated to child-raising. Even for the non-child-caring parent the kids fill in the remaining 30-40 hours after the "real" job and commute. I don't think most people have much left after being switched "on" 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, week after week. How does anyone get stuff done beyond the requisite 40, with kids? Two proven strategies: 1) ignore the kids a lot, 2) hire help. That's what all those famous old guys who discovered all kinds of cool stuff or wrote amazing literature or philosophized or whatever, while also having kids, did. Probably there are super-humans out there who manage without doing those things, but I'm not convinced they're common enough to count on or to give much consideration. Nb some people will hire help but not really want to tell people they have—don't assume someone blogging about raising kids while doing 100 other things, or crushing it at work, hasn't hired help just because they don't mention it. Decent odds they have.
  - the_af 6y ago
    Agreed. > 1) ignore the kids a lot This is likely not the right answer. A lot of those "famous people" are horrible parents. Makes you wonder why they chose to have kids to begin with...
    - zrail 6y ago
      I mean...yes. That is pretty self evidently not the correct answer.
      - the_af 6y ago
        Of course. I was being polite because I'm sure someone, somewhere, will defend it as the strategy that "worked" for them.

whafro 6y ago

I have a kindergartener and left my job at the end of March to volunteer on COVID efforts. Now, a month and a half into it, I work from ~6a-12p ET, then take over homeschooling while my wife works from 1-6p. When working, we're in the attic and not to be disturbed, and we keep pretty strict about that. I've always said that working parents know how to make the most of their 8-hour days in the office, and that's only been amplified. In general, I'm pedal-to-the-metal for my 5-6 hours a day, and then have our family lunch hour to recover before the not-really-relaxing homeschooling begins. We'll get a spot of work in most evenings, half-an-hour of TV, and then it's to bed to start it again the next day. As for my wife and I, we're both mostly exhausted and guilty – guilty that we're not getting more done at work (even though I'm volunteering!), not doing a better job on homeschooling, etc. When it's time to get a new job on my end, I'm really nervous about how it's going to go. I'd typically be doing 10-plus-hour days as I ramp up on new teams and material, but that's just impossible these days. In a normal world, I had lots of arguments for why a business should want to hire working parents, but right now it's really tough to justify. My kid is great, and certainly not a "tough" child by any real measure, but still... Camps and schools can't open up soon enough.

tilolebo 6y ago
I have a kindergartener and left my job at the end of March to volunteer on COVID efforts. Thank you so much for this! Teachers and educators really have a hard time these days.
- whafro 6y ago
  Well, I'm not a teacher (I lead a USDR team), but they really do. When restrictions started, my wife and I set up twice-daily Zooms for our son's class while the schools figured out what to do. It was exhausting, but eventually our kid's teacher started joining them and now has taken them over. She also conducts a dozen "small group" sessions throughout the week, and juggles the wildness and lack of attention of kindergarteners with the responsibility of raising her own newborn. It's cray for everyone, just in different shapes and sizes.
  - 6y ago

sricks3 6y ago

I've had to put my side gig (building guitars) on hold. My wife and I both have day jobs, and we have a two year old. We take turns working and parenting, and it's not unusual for one or both of us to be up till 2 AM finishing work. I'm genuinely happy for everyone who has planted a new garden, taken up a new hobby, started a new software project, etc. For those of us who can't take our kids to daycare or school right now, though, quarantine has meant less time to do the things we already had to do.

tenaciousDaniel 6y ago
nice to see a luthier on HN! Electric or acoustic?

koheripbal 6y ago

We got an aupair for the kids. Best decision ever. My wife and I have never been so productive in our lives. 3 kids is a full time job.

swader999 6y ago
Same here! Similar to this thread they have "quarantine goals". One of them achieved theirs yesterday - front flip on the trampoline.
bitcoinmoney 6y ago
Where did you get?
- koheripbal 6y ago
  culturalcare.com

deskamess 6y ago

I feel I have the grasp of the material but I cannot teach them about it. So things like long division are done with minimal explanation. I think I did okay with multidigit multiplication (ab * xy). In general, I feel the time I have spent explaining stuff to her is insufficient. Today she said she does not know how to write an essay. I kinda fudged it for the case in front of her (Intro, your points, an opposing point or two, conclusion). I think there is a better structure in teaching writing 'essays' - I just dont know how to teach that.

jimktrains2 6y ago
The "5 paragraph essay" (intro, 3 points, conclusion) is basically what you outlined but without the opposing points section, which sound valuable to include.
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
lonelappde 6y ago
Why isn't your school providing that information? You should be able to see what the school is teaching your kids so you can refer to it to.

sailfast 6y ago

You're not alone. And yes, cleaning up counts as a side project. Deep focus is really difficult. Without a checklist it's hard to get anything done, and there are a number of interruptions. As for learning / focus - typically that happens after they're in bed, and the time gets eaten from sleep, but I haven't been able to dig into anything deeper than a Raspberry Pi tinkering project.

danesparza 6y ago

Timebox your side project learning when the kids are asleep. (Even 30 mins a day adds up). Be sure to communicate with your significant other / spouse what desires are for this time and be clear about your time boundaries. Make sure you end when you say you're going to and reconnect with your spouse.

the_af 6y ago

My hobby used to be painting collectible miniatures (you know, Warhammer and the like) but since the lockdown I'm barely able to work, let alone spend time on hobbies. My baby takes all my spare time. > I'm curious how devs with kids at home manage the current situation I manage the situation by stressing a lot and panicking. Hope that helps!