Yeah, the problem with that is that a lot of quasiparticles do follow that intuition (as do anyons except they exist in a 2D world that isn't normally possible

Yeah, the problem with that is that a lot of quasiparticles do follow that intuition (as do anyons except they exist in a 2D world that isn't normally possible to experiment in). In particular photons travelling through a medium are usually viewed as quasiparticles travelling slower than the speed of light, rather than a complex system of interactions. These particles have exactly the same kinds of behaviour as normal particles, similar to photons except with mass.