I am truly saddened to hear your account of things. I myself am trying to find out in my early 30s what piece of the computing puzzle I should reshape myself to

I am truly saddened to hear your account of things. I myself am trying to find out in my early 30s what piece of the computing puzzle I should reshape myself to be. I am driven to go through this book (in fact, I made the purchase just last night) out of an urge to comprehend the full stack of computing. I can't say I have mastered any layer of the stack but familiarizing myself with the domain and limits of each gives me the confidence to trust my intuitions. I was a mere designer before, turned front-end/back-end web developer, but my curiosity now drives me towards infrastructure. I don't even know if coding is what I will end up doing with my professional life but I can't imagine any of this knowledge will ever go to waste. Knowing the ins-and-outs of the infrastructure that runs the world can't possibly be useless knowledge. However, one thing that troubles me about computing is how quickly I become fatigued sitting and staring into a screen. Although for now, I can do it for an unhealthy amount of time, I know deep down that my body or my eyes will not last if I keep this up. And for that, I don't know if my coding skills will count for very much in the future either. I don't quite know what it is you do as an app support engineer but it doesn't sound so terrible to me! I get a satisfaction out of simply knowing what needs to be done and directing the rightful minds even if I may not be the one doing it. I don't know if you had ever had a "passion" for coding but I certainly hope you can find some delight in it (again). The wall of text is an abyss when the inertia of joyful productivity is not on your side. And when the implementation roadmap is long, the burden can be too heavy. I dare to suggest something like visual code-art (like Processing.js, or Flutter art) to change your mind about coding. I find that getting immediate feedback from small changes you make to your code minimizes that burden and can make coding fun again. I appreciate your encouraging words. Thank you and best of luck to you.