5 ms·

One of the harshest lessons I, as an introvert, have learned over the course of my career is the necessity of going in and putting up the appearance of being jo

One of the harshest lessons I, as an introvert, have learned over the course of my career is the necessity of going in and putting up the appearance of being jovial at team and corporate social events, no matter uncomfortable and draining I find it. To do otherwise is to risk my bonuses and my employment.

DoofusOfDeath 6y ago
I've experienced that as well. An additional challenge for me is that I don't like the taste of alcohol, and having even a little makes me do/say things that I later regret. So even when I do show up at company social events, I feel even more like an outsider. It's hard to stay engaged at a job where all of these team-building events / milestone-celebrations make me feel lonely and excluded.
- savrajsingh 6y ago
  It is a shame that group indulgence in alcohol is often the measure of how 'cool' someone is. More and more people are going 'straightedge'... My advice is just carry yourself with confidence -- don't shy away from your choices, own them.
  - papito 6y ago
    Small team lunches - 4 people, 6 people max, are great for bonding, since not everyone can go hang out in bars after work.
    - und3rth3iP 6y ago
      100%. As a manager when we were still in a physical office, I encouraged small group lunches, coffee outings, walks to a nearby dog park, etc. Way too much company socializing still centers on alcohol. I actually had to push back on our in-office boozy happy hours because a few team members were getting too drunk and it was making other people uncomfortable. My boss didn't think it'd seem "cool" if we put together a policy for how these happy hours should be handled. I don't work there anymore. :)
kevmo314 6y ago
I'm also an introvert and at first found a lot of social events awkward. What helped me a lot was really internalizing that these people are just people and work didn't matter, these people are still funny to hang around with. In other words, really dissociating the fact that we worked together made it so I didn't have to put up some facade, I could actually enjoy the events and choose to go to the ones I wanted but not feel guilty bailing on some. I still distinctly feel different whenever a VP or higher level manager joins, but when it's just my team it's a lot more comfortable and has led to a lot of friendships that extend beyond our working relationship.
IggleSniggle 6y ago
I'm capable of having fun at these events, but I would still rather spend the time getting work done. I just consider these events an investment in building rapport that can help in efficient communication during the "actually getting work done" time that I prefer.

DoofusOfDeath 6y ago

I've experienced that as well. An additional challenge for me is that I don't like the taste of alcohol, and having even a little makes me do/say things that I later regret. So even when I do show up at company social events, I feel even more like an outsider. It's hard to stay engaged at a job where all of these team-building events / milestone-celebrations make me feel lonely and excluded.

savrajsingh 6y ago
It is a shame that group indulgence in alcohol is often the measure of how 'cool' someone is. More and more people are going 'straightedge'... My advice is just carry yourself with confidence -- don't shy away from your choices, own them.
- papito 6y ago
  Small team lunches - 4 people, 6 people max, are great for bonding, since not everyone can go hang out in bars after work.
  - und3rth3iP 6y ago
    100%. As a manager when we were still in a physical office, I encouraged small group lunches, coffee outings, walks to a nearby dog park, etc. Way too much company socializing still centers on alcohol. I actually had to push back on our in-office boozy happy hours because a few team members were getting too drunk and it was making other people uncomfortable. My boss didn't think it'd seem "cool" if we put together a policy for how these happy hours should be handled. I don't work there anymore. :)

kevmo314 6y ago

I'm also an introvert and at first found a lot of social events awkward. What helped me a lot was really internalizing that these people are just people and work didn't matter, these people are still funny to hang around with. In other words, really dissociating the fact that we worked together made it so I didn't have to put up some facade, I could actually enjoy the events and choose to go to the ones I wanted but not feel guilty bailing on some. I still distinctly feel different whenever a VP or higher level manager joins, but when it's just my team it's a lot more comfortable and has led to a lot of friendships that extend beyond our working relationship.

IggleSniggle 6y ago

I'm capable of having fun at these events, but I would still rather spend the time getting work done. I just consider these events an investment in building rapport that can help in efficient communication during the "actually getting work done" time that I prefer.