3 ms·

You nailed it! I never bought the "family" argument. Fully agree with you. Work is work. We are not family. I don't get it when I see people let go, writing ex

You nailed it! I never bought the "family" argument. Fully agree with you. Work is work. We are not family. I don't get it when I see people let go, writing extensive blog posts on how awesome the company "family" was yada yada. They let people go .. it means that they are only "family" for as long as it is beneficial for them. Real families don't work that way. So for younger folks out there. Don't drink the cool-aid and don't buy into all these family/social bs. Always think about your interests first. And be ready to move on when your work is no longer beneficial for you.

deleted 6y ago
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kevmo314 6y ago
> Real families don't work that way. I dunno, mine certainly does. My family extends only to where they're no longer toxic in my life. When they intrude and become a negative influence, I cut them out. My gripe with the antagonistic "work is not your family" approach is it sends the signal that the people I meet at work will never be my family. That kind of sucks. Sure, corporations cutting people out aren't very familial, but there are other humans at the core and some of those coworkers do care if I get fired or am having personal issues. Unilaterally casting them out as a machine to further my personal interests is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
- mulmen 6y ago
  > My gripe with the antagonistic "work is not your family" approach is it sends the signal that the people I meet at work will never be my family. This seems like a safe assumption? I guess you can marry a couple coworkers in the course of a career but how else are they going to become family? I don't see that as antagonistic. Work isn't your family. The purpose and circumstances are entirely different. It doesn't mean throw all your coworkers under a bus but the relationship is fundamentally different.
  - kevmo314 6y ago
    Ok I didn't mean literal family. I also think most people who write blog posts talking about family mean "our team is like family"? I have many people who are like family that I have worked with in the past.
    - mulmen 6y ago
      Ok, from context it sounded like literal family so I was confused. Still, I don’t think “work is not your family” is antagonistic and I don’t think it implies you can’t form meaningful relationships with your coworkers. I interpret it from the other direction more like “don’t expect your coworkers to be your family”.
  - ghettoimp 6y ago
    This is probably just a matter of how one defines "family". On one level there's my "real", immediate family (my spouse, my children). On another level there's my "real" extended family (parents, other blood relatives). On yet another level there's my "adopted" family (close friends, their children, etc.) It's pretty easy to see certain coworkers moving into the adopted family category.
    - deleted 6y ago
      [deleted]
    - tibiahurried 6y ago
      > It's pretty easy to see certain coworkers moving into the adopted family category. I don't see how that can possibly work. Co-workers compete with each other to get promotions/salary increases etc. If I see an opportunity at work, I won't share/tell to another co-worker, I have no incentive to favor them vs myself. It does not work like that for my "close and extended family". The best I can do is to, once in a while, go out and have a beer, but even then I honestly don't really enjoy spending time with my co-workers. Sorry to be brutal, but I just don't care. Every single time I left a company for a new opportunity, 99% of those co-workers that looked like "friends", they all systematically just vanished. Then you realize that they just needed you to get things done. Yeah, so work is work.

deleted 6y ago

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kevmo314 6y ago

> Real families don't work that way. I dunno, mine certainly does. My family extends only to where they're no longer toxic in my life. When they intrude and become a negative influence, I cut them out. My gripe with the antagonistic "work is not your family" approach is it sends the signal that the people I meet at work will never be my family. That kind of sucks. Sure, corporations cutting people out aren't very familial, but there are other humans at the core and some of those coworkers do care if I get fired or am having personal issues. Unilaterally casting them out as a machine to further my personal interests is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

mulmen 6y ago
> My gripe with the antagonistic "work is not your family" approach is it sends the signal that the people I meet at work will never be my family. This seems like a safe assumption? I guess you can marry a couple coworkers in the course of a career but how else are they going to become family? I don't see that as antagonistic. Work isn't your family. The purpose and circumstances are entirely different. It doesn't mean throw all your coworkers under a bus but the relationship is fundamentally different.
- kevmo314 6y ago
  Ok I didn't mean literal family. I also think most people who write blog posts talking about family mean "our team is like family"? I have many people who are like family that I have worked with in the past.
  - mulmen 6y ago
    Ok, from context it sounded like literal family so I was confused. Still, I don’t think “work is not your family” is antagonistic and I don’t think it implies you can’t form meaningful relationships with your coworkers. I interpret it from the other direction more like “don’t expect your coworkers to be your family”.
- ghettoimp 6y ago
  This is probably just a matter of how one defines "family". On one level there's my "real", immediate family (my spouse, my children). On another level there's my "real" extended family (parents, other blood relatives). On yet another level there's my "adopted" family (close friends, their children, etc.) It's pretty easy to see certain coworkers moving into the adopted family category.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
  - tibiahurried 6y ago
    > It's pretty easy to see certain coworkers moving into the adopted family category. I don't see how that can possibly work. Co-workers compete with each other to get promotions/salary increases etc. If I see an opportunity at work, I won't share/tell to another co-worker, I have no incentive to favor them vs myself. It does not work like that for my "close and extended family". The best I can do is to, once in a while, go out and have a beer, but even then I honestly don't really enjoy spending time with my co-workers. Sorry to be brutal, but I just don't care. Every single time I left a company for a new opportunity, 99% of those co-workers that looked like "friends", they all systematically just vanished. Then you realize that they just needed you to get things done. Yeah, so work is work.