4 ms·

The point I'm trying to make is that I don't have a strategy and neither do I want to have a strategy. Yes, I'm vulnerable. Yes, it exposes all of my flaws, bu

The point I'm trying to make is that I don't have a strategy and neither do I want to have a strategy. Yes, I'm vulnerable. Yes, it exposes all of my flaws, but at least what you see is what you get. At least, when I have a relationship I know it's genuine and based on a solid foundation instead of grounded to pretense under the garb of strategy. I just don't want to make it complicated as some relationships I deal with anyway. It took me a while to learn this, but it was worth the effort and the pain. What you just saw was what you got. Take care.

endtime 16y ago
You do have a strategy. Now that you have acknowledged the concept, you can't not have one. Your strategy in this case is (explicitly) not to engage in conscious strategizing and (implicitly) to ignore social norms which don't match your aesthetics (which, by the way, are probably not some fundamental truth of the universe or even of your genes, but rather a function of the memes you were exposed to during your formative period). I also think you're making the mistake of assuming that consciously thinking about human interaction makes it impossible to have honest, open, "real" relationships. I assure you that isn't the case. Two separate times in my life I've had reasonably large circles of friends in which we were more open with each other than I suspect most people ever are with anyone (and one of those times is right now). I'd even go so far as to argue that active introspection and learning about human nature enables one to have more open and meaningful relationships.
- todayiamme 16y ago
  The problem with the argument that by not making a choice, you're still making a choice is that it's a circle. I know you're right, but the thing is that the english language or any natural language wasn't built for such deep probing of concepts. The things we're talking about disintegrate under the microscope and what we get is philosophy. I think you're right about active introspection. I have done a lot of soul searching too and I still continue to do, but the point I was trying to convey is that this (read: applying game theory to everything) really isn't what life is all about. There are some things that should be broken apart and others that should be felt. I just think this is one of them.
chernevik 16y ago
Sebastian's point was that professional style -- here, his choices about what he will do, and for what -- communicates values and goals and self-perception. That information helps others self-select how they want to work with him. Jacques writes "Faking success isn't going to make you successful". Well, obviously, a style based on misperception won't work, and one based on misrepresentation won't last. But that doesn't mean an accurate and honest style won't help you find whatever you regard as success.

endtime 16y ago

You do have a strategy. Now that you have acknowledged the concept, you can't not have one. Your strategy in this case is (explicitly) not to engage in conscious strategizing and (implicitly) to ignore social norms which don't match your aesthetics (which, by the way, are probably not some fundamental truth of the universe or even of your genes, but rather a function of the memes you were exposed to during your formative period). I also think you're making the mistake of assuming that consciously thinking about human interaction makes it impossible to have honest, open, "real" relationships. I assure you that isn't the case. Two separate times in my life I've had reasonably large circles of friends in which we were more open with each other than I suspect most people ever are with anyone (and one of those times is right now). I'd even go so far as to argue that active introspection and learning about human nature enables one to have more open and meaningful relationships.

todayiamme 16y ago
The problem with the argument that by not making a choice, you're still making a choice is that it's a circle. I know you're right, but the thing is that the english language or any natural language wasn't built for such deep probing of concepts. The things we're talking about disintegrate under the microscope and what we get is philosophy. I think you're right about active introspection. I have done a lot of soul searching too and I still continue to do, but the point I was trying to convey is that this (read: applying game theory to everything) really isn't what life is all about. There are some things that should be broken apart and others that should be felt. I just think this is one of them.

chernevik 16y ago

Sebastian's point was that professional style -- here, his choices about what he will do, and for what -- communicates values and goals and self-perception. That information helps others self-select how they want to work with him. Jacques writes "Faking success isn't going to make you successful". Well, obviously, a style based on misperception won't work, and one based on misrepresentation won't last. But that doesn't mean an accurate and honest style won't help you find whatever you regard as success.