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> As bad as your relationship is with your parents. Once they're gone, you're pretty much alone. Absolutely untrue. If your parents are toxic and damaging, you

> As bad as your relationship is with your parents. Once they're gone, you're pretty much alone. Absolutely untrue. If your parents are toxic and damaging, you should cut them from your life. Some people can't live healthy lives if they keep contact with their abusive parents.

crimsonalucard 6y ago
I'm in total agreement with you. If your parents are toxic, dump them for sure. Not every parent is like my description, I'm just describing a generality that describes the majority. Despite this, I truly believe the statement below: If you don't have parents that will stick with you while you're still in prison for 30 years, then you don't have anyone on the face of this earth who will do this for you. You are alone.
- proximitysauce 6y ago
  That's kinda a crappy message to be spreading on Mother's Day for people who don't have parents (or aren't in contact with them) tbh.
  - rat9988 6y ago
    I still agree with his point of view
  - crimsonalucard 6y ago
    I'm sorry. Just telling the truth. I mostly posted because I feel a lot of people have bad relationships with parents that actually do love them but for various other reasons (psychological problems, poverty, stress, drugs etc... ) ended up just having a bad relationship with their parents. I think it's absolutely worth it to try and establish contact and maintain a relationship if you feel that the relationship problems are superficial and underneath it all your parents do love you. In that article, the mother lost contact with both of her children. It is not a trivial situation to be in when both children don't want contact. She must have done many things that were really serious and really horrible. But her last email she wrote that she loves both of them no matter what, and I think that is real. What I am saying is that as imperfect as people are as much damage and toxicity they have done, if you sense that underneath it all there's genuine love then it's absolutely worth maintaining that relationship because you're never going to get someone to love you like this again. If true love even exists, it can only exist from parent to child.
    - apatters 6y ago
      It seems like you're having trouble either understanding or believing how bad some mothers actually are. What about the ones that leave their baby in a dumpster? If that kid grows up does it have an obligation to try and maintain a relationship with its mother? Abusive parents are one of the most tragic and debilitating sources of trauma there is. Many people are doomed to suffer this trauma for their entire lives despite their best efforts to move on. Please don't encourage these people to reconnect with their parents. You are opening old wounds and I don't think you understand how deep they are.
      - nyanpasu64 6y ago
        My parents locked me in the garage. They beat me. One time my dad tried to bend my fingers backwards as torture.
      - HarryHirsch 6y ago
        Have some compassion for the poor guy. People with regular parents literally cannot imagine what growing up with abusive parents is like. When you try to explain you just draw a total blank, it's like taking a blind man to an exhibition of paintings. The fellow is blind, there is nothing that can be done about his blindness. Let him continue to be blind.
        crimsonalucard 6y ago
        Read my other comments. I'm not disagreeing with you or the other poster. There's a possible misunderstanding in what I'm saying here. We're all blind in certain sense. I'm thinking people like you who were possibly abused cannot see the other side of the coin. Can you imagine a bond so strong that for parents with abusive/toxic children there is no choice. If my child was a psychopathic killer, I have to love him and support him until the bitter end. I have many choices in life such as the choice of committing a crime or refraining from committing a crime. The choice of risking my own life to save another or watching someone else die. For my child, I do not have a choice. If a parent-child bond exists, I think it's the strongest bond in all human relationships. Many mothers describe it as taking a piece of your soul and letting it walk around outside of your body. It doesn't exist in all cases but when it does exist there's nothing else like it. But obviously not every parent and child will have this bond, I'm sorry if you or anyone reading this didn't.
- javajosh 6y ago
  Nonsense. Many friends will fade and return perhaps several times in a life. The biggest reason you might end up alone is because you believe you are.
  - crimsonalucard 6y ago
    By alone I mean who in the world will help you if you're a psychopathic killer who enjoys torturing animals and people? Who is the last person on the face of the earth who will not give up on you? Your parents, that is if you have parents that love you this way. Many don't but many do. Every single one of your other relationships relies on effort by you to maintain. If you violate certain societal norms all bets are off. All relationships are basically just mutual trade agreements except for the parent - child bond. It's a cynical world view but it's real, there are lines everywhere that you have to make efforts not to cross because you're aware that if those lines are crossed people will abandon you.

crimsonalucard 6y ago

I'm in total agreement with you. If your parents are toxic, dump them for sure. Not every parent is like my description, I'm just describing a generality that describes the majority. Despite this, I truly believe the statement below: If you don't have parents that will stick with you while you're still in prison for 30 years, then you don't have anyone on the face of this earth who will do this for you. You are alone.

proximitysauce 6y ago
That's kinda a crappy message to be spreading on Mother's Day for people who don't have parents (or aren't in contact with them) tbh.
- rat9988 6y ago
  I still agree with his point of view
- crimsonalucard 6y ago
  I'm sorry. Just telling the truth. I mostly posted because I feel a lot of people have bad relationships with parents that actually do love them but for various other reasons (psychological problems, poverty, stress, drugs etc... ) ended up just having a bad relationship with their parents. I think it's absolutely worth it to try and establish contact and maintain a relationship if you feel that the relationship problems are superficial and underneath it all your parents do love you. In that article, the mother lost contact with both of her children. It is not a trivial situation to be in when both children don't want contact. She must have done many things that were really serious and really horrible. But her last email she wrote that she loves both of them no matter what, and I think that is real. What I am saying is that as imperfect as people are as much damage and toxicity they have done, if you sense that underneath it all there's genuine love then it's absolutely worth maintaining that relationship because you're never going to get someone to love you like this again. If true love even exists, it can only exist from parent to child.
  - apatters 6y ago
    It seems like you're having trouble either understanding or believing how bad some mothers actually are. What about the ones that leave their baby in a dumpster? If that kid grows up does it have an obligation to try and maintain a relationship with its mother? Abusive parents are one of the most tragic and debilitating sources of trauma there is. Many people are doomed to suffer this trauma for their entire lives despite their best efforts to move on. Please don't encourage these people to reconnect with their parents. You are opening old wounds and I don't think you understand how deep they are.
    - nyanpasu64 6y ago
      My parents locked me in the garage. They beat me. One time my dad tried to bend my fingers backwards as torture.
    - HarryHirsch 6y ago
      Have some compassion for the poor guy. People with regular parents literally cannot imagine what growing up with abusive parents is like. When you try to explain you just draw a total blank, it's like taking a blind man to an exhibition of paintings. The fellow is blind, there is nothing that can be done about his blindness. Let him continue to be blind.
      - crimsonalucard 6y ago
        Read my other comments. I'm not disagreeing with you or the other poster. There's a possible misunderstanding in what I'm saying here. We're all blind in certain sense. I'm thinking people like you who were possibly abused cannot see the other side of the coin. Can you imagine a bond so strong that for parents with abusive/toxic children there is no choice. If my child was a psychopathic killer, I have to love him and support him until the bitter end. I have many choices in life such as the choice of committing a crime or refraining from committing a crime. The choice of risking my own life to save another or watching someone else die. For my child, I do not have a choice. If a parent-child bond exists, I think it's the strongest bond in all human relationships. Many mothers describe it as taking a piece of your soul and letting it walk around outside of your body. It doesn't exist in all cases but when it does exist there's nothing else like it. But obviously not every parent and child will have this bond, I'm sorry if you or anyone reading this didn't.
javajosh 6y ago
Nonsense. Many friends will fade and return perhaps several times in a life. The biggest reason you might end up alone is because you believe you are.
- crimsonalucard 6y ago
  By alone I mean who in the world will help you if you're a psychopathic killer who enjoys torturing animals and people? Who is the last person on the face of the earth who will not give up on you? Your parents, that is if you have parents that love you this way. Many don't but many do. Every single one of your other relationships relies on effort by you to maintain. If you violate certain societal norms all bets are off. All relationships are basically just mutual trade agreements except for the parent - child bond. It's a cynical world view but it's real, there are lines everywhere that you have to make efforts not to cross because you're aware that if those lines are crossed people will abandon you.