Take a break. If necessary, a long break. What you write sounds alarmingly familiar to me. It's probably not as simple as just calling it "burnout", but that

Take a break. If necessary, a long break. What you write sounds alarmingly familiar to me. It's probably not as simple as just calling it "burnout", but that may be one component of what you're going through. I also learned the hard way that it's important to look after myself. And it took way too long when looking back today. You seem to have invested way too much of yourself into this and maybe you have lost track of what's really important in life. Take a break. Feel free to contact me if you wanna talk.