8 ms·

Not to throw this into standard male internet complaining about dating, but it's funny that the Wired article waits until almost the end to mention that the dud

Not to throw this into standard male internet complaining about dating, but it's funny that the Wired article waits until almost the end to mention that the dude is over six feet tall with blue eyes (and per the photo at the beginning, not bad-looking!). I wonder if this kind of gaming would have worked if he wasn't already in a highly desired male demographic. It's possible that just being noticed is a big marginal benefit when you're already in that demographic.

deleted 6y ago
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globular-toast 6y ago
Of course it wouldn't. Why would women suddenly find a man attractive just because some app brings up a match? The matching algorithms are not there to show you who you find attractive, they are there to filter out the 95% (for women), or 50% (for men) of people you definitely don't find attractive.
- ses1984 6y ago
  If 95% of women reject your profile, would you get more matches if your profile was in front of 10 women or 10,000?
  - AnthonyMouse 6y ago
    The trouble is it's not "95% of women reject your profile" but rather "women reject 95% of profiles" -- which is something else entirely.
  - MagnumOpus 6y ago
    Generally it’s not 95% of women rejecting a given profile, but all women (or near enough to make no difference) rejecting mostly the same 95% of profiles and not rejecting the rest. I.e. boosting visibility probably brings proportionate benefits to the most desirable men, but little additional benefit to the ugly/short/older guy.
    - whatshisface 6y ago
      Source? With 51.5% of American men presently married I have a hard time believing 95% of men are consistently rejected by every woman!
      - chongli 6y ago
        It’s 95% of the men on dating apps, not 95% of all men. The men who get married presumably delete their profile. It’s not hard to see that all of the gold had already been panned out and there’s nothing left but mud (in the eyes of the women on those dating apps).
        whatshisface 6y ago
        That sounds like how hiring managers describe the tech job market.
        deleted 6y ago
        [deleted]
        exolymph 6y ago
        Sellers' markets all have this dynamic. Edit: wtf @ stripping emoji HN
      - Izkata 6y ago
        It's probably a misremembering of actual findings: At least on OKCupid, women rate 80% of men as below-average attractiveness, while men rate women at right about 50% as below-average and 50% as above-average [0]. OKCupid has since deleted the post with their findings [1], but references to it still exist all over, as does an archived copy [2]. [0] https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/ https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/ [1] https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0... [2] http://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/ http://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcupi...
- devit 6y ago
  If someone had good experiences with people the app recommended previously, then the app recommending someone can be enough to make them willing to date them. It's basically the same mechanism that works for physical attraction, i.e. if you had good interactions with people of a certain "type" then you'll be attracted to other people of that "type".
- factotvm 6y ago
  Are those percentages based on data you got somewhere, or are they a part of the 84% of statistics that are made up on the spot?
  - factotvm 6y ago
    Not sure why folks are downvoting me... perhaps giving the humorous out is rubbing folks the wrong way. I looked at the links and didn’t see mention of those values, and I don’t know if they are commonly known, so I’m going to ask again. Where are these numbers (95% of women and 50% of men) coming from?
    - globular-toast 6y ago
      The OKCupid and Tinder studies, as linked elsewhere. The OKCupid study showed women rate 80% of men as "below average". But if you assume that most women don't want an average or even just slightly above average man, it easily becomes more than 90%.
  - MattGaiser 6y ago
    It is probably based off the OkCupid data that found that women rated 80% of men as below average attractiveness or the Tinder data which has the top 50% of women chasing 5-10% of the men. https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-g... https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps/ https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard... http://archive.is/BtTP2 http://archive.is/BtTP2 I can't find the actual statistic the above people are repeating, but these are similar.
izhak 6y ago
It starts with his photo...

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

globular-toast 6y ago

Of course it wouldn't. Why would women suddenly find a man attractive just because some app brings up a match? The matching algorithms are not there to show you who you find attractive, they are there to filter out the 95% (for women), or 50% (for men) of people you definitely don't find attractive.

ses1984 6y ago
If 95% of women reject your profile, would you get more matches if your profile was in front of 10 women or 10,000?
- AnthonyMouse 6y ago
  The trouble is it's not "95% of women reject your profile" but rather "women reject 95% of profiles" -- which is something else entirely.
- MagnumOpus 6y ago
  Generally it’s not 95% of women rejecting a given profile, but all women (or near enough to make no difference) rejecting mostly the same 95% of profiles and not rejecting the rest. I.e. boosting visibility probably brings proportionate benefits to the most desirable men, but little additional benefit to the ugly/short/older guy.
  - whatshisface 6y ago
    Source? With 51.5% of American men presently married I have a hard time believing 95% of men are consistently rejected by every woman!
    - chongli 6y ago
      It’s 95% of the men on dating apps, not 95% of all men. The men who get married presumably delete their profile. It’s not hard to see that all of the gold had already been panned out and there’s nothing left but mud (in the eyes of the women on those dating apps).
      - whatshisface 6y ago
        That sounds like how hiring managers describe the tech job market.
        deleted 6y ago
        [deleted]
        exolymph 6y ago
        Sellers' markets all have this dynamic. Edit: wtf @ stripping emoji HN
    - Izkata 6y ago
      It's probably a misremembering of actual findings: At least on OKCupid, women rate 80% of men as below-average attractiveness, while men rate women at right about 50% as below-average and 50% as above-average [0]. OKCupid has since deleted the post with their findings [1], but references to it still exist all over, as does an archived copy [2]. [0] https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/ https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/ [1] https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0... [2] http://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/ http://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcupi...
devit 6y ago
If someone had good experiences with people the app recommended previously, then the app recommending someone can be enough to make them willing to date them. It's basically the same mechanism that works for physical attraction, i.e. if you had good interactions with people of a certain "type" then you'll be attracted to other people of that "type".
factotvm 6y ago
Are those percentages based on data you got somewhere, or are they a part of the 84% of statistics that are made up on the spot?
- factotvm 6y ago
  Not sure why folks are downvoting me... perhaps giving the humorous out is rubbing folks the wrong way. I looked at the links and didn’t see mention of those values, and I don’t know if they are commonly known, so I’m going to ask again. Where are these numbers (95% of women and 50% of men) coming from?
  - globular-toast 6y ago
    The OKCupid and Tinder studies, as linked elsewhere. The OKCupid study showed women rate 80% of men as "below average". But if you assume that most women don't want an average or even just slightly above average man, it easily becomes more than 90%.
- MattGaiser 6y ago
  It is probably based off the OkCupid data that found that women rated 80% of men as below average attractiveness or the Tinder data which has the top 50% of women chasing 5-10% of the men. https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-g... https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps/ https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard... http://archive.is/BtTP2 http://archive.is/BtTP2 I can't find the actual statistic the above people are repeating, but these are similar.

izhak 6y ago

It starts with his photo...