3 ms·

Speaking as an above average looking person (or so I’m told), I’ve found that here in my 30s, physical attraction has taken a major back seat to the personality

by cik2e 6y ago

Speaking as an above average looking person (or so I’m told), I’ve found that here in my 30s, physical attraction has taken a major back seat to the personality factor. Maybe I’m in the minority on this one, but I don’t really think of people as attractive or not any more based on facial features or anything else that we don’t have control over with regard to our bodies. What matters is physical fitness and whether we can have a mutually interesting conversation.

Loughla 6y ago
As I get older, I still consider physical attractiveness of the people around me. But what I've noticed is that I 100% make fewer choices based on that physical attractiveness. In my 20's, I was very likely to make a decision to work with or for someone if they are attractive. In my late 30's now, I am much more likely to only base it on the other person's ability and/or intelligence in a subject area.
ooobit2 6y ago
You're definitely not gay if you think that. I'm 33 and I can assure you that I've gone from feeling relatively average to below average, to now believing firmly for the last six years that I will not have another relationship in my lifetime. And if by chance I do, it will likely be a highly casual one. I can't keep up with everything as it is. You realize that "what matters" has changed so much just in the last few years, and once you start counting the big things, you only need to get a few in before you're out. No six pack? OK, but are you vegan? If not, then do you at least believe Sanders was robbed in 2016? Ugh... Well, if you can't say yes to any of those, you've at least never been diagnosed with a mental health issue, right? Seriously. I smoke. I was turned down for smoking by someone who I less than two weeks later ran into again, and he had a lit cigarette between his fingers. That's where we're at in the "what matters" pipeline these days.
cambalache 6y ago
In Internet 90% of the people are "above average" in attractiveness. Either you are not that good looking as you think you are or you are very modest scratching the untruthfulness. Very attractive people tend to value MORE not less physical appearance, which it makes senss, due to assortative mating and the worldview they grew up with.
- type0 6y ago
  Do you mean attractive people post more photos of themselves on facebook/instagram?
  - cambalache 6y ago
    No, I mean good-looking people tend to care a LOT more about their appearance than regular people. Not only their appearance but the appearance of their partners. Being good looking is part of their identity and has shaped their worldview. Same reason smart people value intelligence a lot, rich people value money, and so on and so forth.
  - adelHBN 6y ago
    No, I believe vain, insecure people post lots of photos of themselves online. Many of them compensate for their ugliness by clothes, background and makeup. Most beautiful people that are busily secure in their lives don't have the time to post 10 times a day!!!!

by cik2e 6y ago

Loughla 6y ago

As I get older, I still consider physical attractiveness of the people around me. But what I've noticed is that I 100% make fewer choices based on that physical attractiveness. In my 20's, I was very likely to make a decision to work with or for someone if they are attractive. In my late 30's now, I am much more likely to only base it on the other person's ability and/or intelligence in a subject area.

ooobit2 6y ago

You're definitely not gay if you think that. I'm 33 and I can assure you that I've gone from feeling relatively average to below average, to now believing firmly for the last six years that I will not have another relationship in my lifetime. And if by chance I do, it will likely be a highly casual one. I can't keep up with everything as it is. You realize that "what matters" has changed so much just in the last few years, and once you start counting the big things, you only need to get a few in before you're out. No six pack? OK, but are you vegan? If not, then do you at least believe Sanders was robbed in 2016? Ugh... Well, if you can't say yes to any of those, you've at least never been diagnosed with a mental health issue, right? Seriously. I smoke. I was turned down for smoking by someone who I less than two weeks later ran into again, and he had a lit cigarette between his fingers. That's where we're at in the "what matters" pipeline these days.

cambalache 6y ago

In Internet 90% of the people are "above average" in attractiveness. Either you are not that good looking as you think you are or you are very modest scratching the untruthfulness. Very attractive people tend to value MORE not less physical appearance, which it makes senss, due to assortative mating and the worldview they grew up with.

type0 6y ago
Do you mean attractive people post more photos of themselves on facebook/instagram?
- cambalache 6y ago
  No, I mean good-looking people tend to care a LOT more about their appearance than regular people. Not only their appearance but the appearance of their partners. Being good looking is part of their identity and has shaped their worldview. Same reason smart people value intelligence a lot, rich people value money, and so on and so forth.
- adelHBN 6y ago
  No, I believe vain, insecure people post lots of photos of themselves online. Many of them compensate for their ugliness by clothes, background and makeup. Most beautiful people that are busily secure in their lives don't have the time to post 10 times a day!!!!