4 ms·

Damn, Im sorry for your loss. School, like university, is not just about being looked after by more competent people. Its a place where you not only learn acade

Damn, Im sorry for your loss. School, like university, is not just about being looked after by more competent people. Its a place where you not only learn academic disciplines but also begin to understand how the real world works - social hierachies, networking and building relationships etc etc. To an extent, its what you make of it.

tarsinge 6y ago
I don't question it's essential to learn what you point out, but that school as it exists and is organized now is maybe not the best, or at least the only way fit-all approach for education + socializing. On the education I'm sure it's not. On the socializing part I clearly didn't make much of it but maybe I'm lightly on the spectrum so it didn't help. I read this essay a few years ago and it really resonated, it does obviously a way better job at putting my feeling into words: http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html
- Miraste 6y ago
  Interesting essay. Not to pry, but how old are you? pg went to high school in the 80s, and as someone who attended more recently, most of his points read like artifacts of the time--something with more resemblance to a John Hughes movie than real life.
  - bragh 6y ago
    Are you really certain that you weren't one of the people who actually was part of the privileged clique? My small town school had instances of missing teeth, broken jaws, one kid beaten far enough to require hospitalization for 2 weeks, etc. 10 years later, the popular kids say that there was no bullying and it was all intended in good fun. My therapist didn't even believe me at first when I discussed the things that were going on at my school, but luckily I do have some reminders of those times on visible places.
    - Miraste 6y ago
      I'm 100% sure I fall under "nerd" as pg uses it--if you'd asked a random student in my year to name a nerd, it would've been me--and that's why I have trouble connecting with these stories. Neither I or my Academic Decathlon/programming/D&D friend group encountered that level of bullying. Cliques were there, but most people were in more than one, so the lines weren't very stark. Your school sounds awful, I'm sorry. I went to a pretty diverse school with >2000 students, so there was some violence, but it was either mutual or gang-related. Petty teenager dickishness existed, but nothing like the kind of Stephen King bullies you describe. As far as I know, at least. I admit I could've been oblivious, but for that to be possible already indicates a friendlier environment than these descriptions.

tarsinge 6y ago

I don't question it's essential to learn what you point out, but that school as it exists and is organized now is maybe not the best, or at least the only way fit-all approach for education + socializing. On the education I'm sure it's not. On the socializing part I clearly didn't make much of it but maybe I'm lightly on the spectrum so it didn't help. I read this essay a few years ago and it really resonated, it does obviously a way better job at putting my feeling into words: http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

Miraste 6y ago
Interesting essay. Not to pry, but how old are you? pg went to high school in the 80s, and as someone who attended more recently, most of his points read like artifacts of the time--something with more resemblance to a John Hughes movie than real life.
- bragh 6y ago
  Are you really certain that you weren't one of the people who actually was part of the privileged clique? My small town school had instances of missing teeth, broken jaws, one kid beaten far enough to require hospitalization for 2 weeks, etc. 10 years later, the popular kids say that there was no bullying and it was all intended in good fun. My therapist didn't even believe me at first when I discussed the things that were going on at my school, but luckily I do have some reminders of those times on visible places.
  - Miraste 6y ago
    I'm 100% sure I fall under "nerd" as pg uses it--if you'd asked a random student in my year to name a nerd, it would've been me--and that's why I have trouble connecting with these stories. Neither I or my Academic Decathlon/programming/D&D friend group encountered that level of bullying. Cliques were there, but most people were in more than one, so the lines weren't very stark. Your school sounds awful, I'm sorry. I went to a pretty diverse school with >2000 students, so there was some violence, but it was either mutual or gang-related. Petty teenager dickishness existed, but nothing like the kind of Stephen King bullies you describe. As far as I know, at least. I admit I could've been oblivious, but for that to be possible already indicates a friendlier environment than these descriptions.