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I’m a single, full-time dad to two girls - a six year old kindergartener and two year old toddler. I’ll share some of my observations and thoughts so far (in n
by jiux 6y ago
I’m a single, full-time dad to two girls - a six year old kindergartener and two year old toddler.
I’ll share some of my observations and thoughts so far (in no particular order):
- It’s nice to be around them more. Seriously. I personally invest a lot into their development and seeing them positively grow is a great feeling. Being around them more during the day seems to amplify this. “Time” is finite.
- I put my daughter into private school and the expensive monthly tuition bill still came at full price. Was it fair? I don’t know. I knew I could get by financially so never brought it up with hopes it might just help a teacher keep a paycheck. The teachers are passionate and are really trying with distant learning too. If anything, they deserve more.
- No longer paying for a babysitter nor after school care returned a lot back into the wallet. This actually turned into a new and positive financial investment adventure. I’ve saved more money in the last two months than I have in a year. ”Wow” is the feeling.
- The heightened risk around handled food has mentally “forced” me into eating exclusively at home from grocery store goods. We three were a 99% eat-out/takeout everyday family beforehand. Surprisingly, the adaptation has been a lot easier than expected. Eating out was almost never for self-pleasure, just convenient usually. This also has helped save lots of $$$.
- The commute to work has lightened up a little. I think maybe 10ft (+/- a foot or two for you anal type). The car has been with a full tank for over a month. ~5 miles in this timeframe, all of which for grocery store (wow more money saved).
- Morning commute consisted of driving girls to school and babysitter, then to work. That short distance in the car alone cost me ~1 hour each way, so ~2 hours of time returned daily. I normally lay outfits out the night before, the toddler is usually chill about what outfit to wear, and the school requires uniforms, so morning prep was fast and smooth, usually. Maybe 30 minutes returned here.
- Standard of cleaning dipped lower than desired once we became the three musketeers. New found time went as fast as it came here. Having our apartment a little more clean feels good though.
- My official title at the 9-5 is “software engineer”, so the concept of working from home is realistic. Doing so with children as a single parent is where reality hits the fan too. Just one child around is not too bad, doesn’t matter which one. Having both means girls argue, fight over stuff like who gets the last corndog, if Barbie should or shouldn’t go stand in the corner in timeout for doing something bad, so on. My concentration skills with work have been tested here FOR SURE. It’s easy and then it’s not. Productivity is overall on average higher when they take an afternoon nap and lower when awake and about.
- This whole online learning concept sounds nice on paper and might be the best alternative next to in-person schooling, but man it really is difficult to pull off during the week for me. An hour or two a day? I’m already writing this at 3am if that tells you anything. That might be realistic to some, but it’s not for me, and I’m not even dismissing any opportunity to save time. For example, I have it figured out when I wake up: first use the restroom, wash hands, then proceed to brush teeth after washing hands, but before drying. This saves from wetting hands and drying with towel twice. When time is at a premium, it makes you think about weird stuff like that. I try for weekends to catch up on daughters schooling. We are a week and a half behind. I also emailed the teacher on my own behalf to simply let her know I’m having a hard time keeping up and to ask if she had any tips or suggestions to offer.
Overall, social distancing hasn’t phased us since we keep to ourselves in our private time for the most part already. No real negatives experienced on a personal level and our health is good. I suspect this concept of online learning might be easy for some, if not most, but it sure as hell hasn’t been for me with time already at a premium.
My girls and I will get through it, just like the rest of you reading this will.