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I've dealt with burnout twice in my life so far, and I'm going to make sure it never happens again. Both were post-crunch meltdowns. The first, when I was just

I've dealt with burnout twice in my life so far, and I'm going to make sure it never happens again. Both were post-crunch meltdowns. The first, when I was just getting in to the industry, and didn't know better. The second, not so long ago, when I should have known better. The first thing I've learned is that I can't accurately judge my limits. Even if I feel okay and on top of the world... things start to slide. Suddenly I'm writing code so bad, I'm committing code that doesn't even work, but thinking it does, because my brain is in outright rebellion. Both times, I couldn't code for six months. The first time, I just tried to hide it. I quit my job, and took another. I wrote almost no code in those six months and was paranoid I'd be found out and fired. I wasn't, thankfully. The second time, I took a few months off work, and requested a change of job for a period of time, so that I didn't have to do any coding. The second time was really bad, I started having panic attacks just looking at code on a screen. I'd start sweating, heart racing. It was horrible. What I ended up doing for most of those six months at home, was building little plastic robot models. No computer use. Just quiet, methodical, brainless work. Eventually I recovered, and started coding again. I'm better than ever now, which is good. But I learned an important lesson, which is that working too much is always bad. I know, it seems like a lame ending to this story, but it's true and ultimately important.

singular 16y ago
Very well put. Very sorry to hear about your experiences - I think this highlights quite clearly what a serious thing burnout can be. Hopefully you won't mind if I mention my experience - though I didn't do a computer science degree (something I very much regret), my engineering degree was a very difficult time for me - a family situation carried on throughout the degree, a very, very serious situation (and also very personal, so not going to go into detail), as well as very many other bad things happening to me on what was already a ridiculously difficult workload (my Alma mater has a great reputation based on working people into the ground). There are so many stories I could tell about that time... will stick with just one, however - in my final year my dissertation supervisor treated me like a research assistant - going off and looking at stuff for him which he'd review then throw away, rinse + repeat all year until 2 weeks before the dissertation deadline when he told me I didn't have a project (if I didn't hand anything in that would have been my degree over with, I would have had to repeat the entire final year elsewhere, and would find it hard to actually get a job, so pretty damn major). After 2 weeks of 18-hour days I managed to write a 100-page dissertation and code (in fortran!!) the entire model myself. I eventually got an A grade for the dissertation despite everything, but this supervisor told me afterwards I couldn't pursue a PhD with him because I was a bad student (yeah, kinda dodged a bullet there, not to mention that it would have been a distraction from what I've come to realise was always my calling - programming). In fact my degree choice was largely influenced by 'spiritual' beliefs held by my family, so I had the endless conflict of not actually liking my subject (I wanted to do maths or computer science) while trying to actually survive it. I can't tell you how absolutely destructive that was, it's taken 6 years to even be able to cope with studying on my own, let alone doing the kind of work I need to go in the direction I want to with programming. Anyway, now things are way more positive, focusing on studying the things I need to learn while avoiding burnout (see my other post). A lot of it is getting over the impact it has on self-esteem. Trust me, burning out like that is like a forest fire for the ego.
- mrcharles 16y ago
  It's worth noting that just because you are enjoying yourself doesn't make you immune to burnout. My second bout of burnout was from a workload I chose to challenge myself with. I was a designer, programmer, and a team lead, and ultimately, was trying to cram three jobs in to a week. I loved it, and thought I had it all under control, until the day it all fell apart.

singular 16y ago

Very well put. Very sorry to hear about your experiences - I think this highlights quite clearly what a serious thing burnout can be. Hopefully you won't mind if I mention my experience - though I didn't do a computer science degree (something I very much regret), my engineering degree was a very difficult time for me - a family situation carried on throughout the degree, a very, very serious situation (and also very personal, so not going to go into detail), as well as very many other bad things happening to me on what was already a ridiculously difficult workload (my Alma mater has a great reputation based on working people into the ground). There are so many stories I could tell about that time... will stick with just one, however - in my final year my dissertation supervisor treated me like a research assistant - going off and looking at stuff for him which he'd review then throw away, rinse + repeat all year until 2 weeks before the dissertation deadline when he told me I didn't have a project (if I didn't hand anything in that would have been my degree over with, I would have had to repeat the entire final year elsewhere, and would find it hard to actually get a job, so pretty damn major). After 2 weeks of 18-hour days I managed to write a 100-page dissertation and code (in fortran!!) the entire model myself. I eventually got an A grade for the dissertation despite everything, but this supervisor told me afterwards I couldn't pursue a PhD with him because I was a bad student (yeah, kinda dodged a bullet there, not to mention that it would have been a distraction from what I've come to realise was always my calling - programming). In fact my degree choice was largely influenced by 'spiritual' beliefs held by my family, so I had the endless conflict of not actually liking my subject (I wanted to do maths or computer science) while trying to actually survive it. I can't tell you how absolutely destructive that was, it's taken 6 years to even be able to cope with studying on my own, let alone doing the kind of work I need to go in the direction I want to with programming. Anyway, now things are way more positive, focusing on studying the things I need to learn while avoiding burnout (see my other post). A lot of it is getting over the impact it has on self-esteem. Trust me, burning out like that is like a forest fire for the ego.

mrcharles 16y ago
It's worth noting that just because you are enjoying yourself doesn't make you immune to burnout. My second bout of burnout was from a workload I chose to challenge myself with. I was a designer, programmer, and a team lead, and ultimately, was trying to cram three jobs in to a week. I loved it, and thought I had it all under control, until the day it all fell apart.