I've been obsessed w/ r/coronavirus and panicking for weeks, I'm starting to feel disassociated from it, like I know it's real but part of me thinks "don't worr

I've been obsessed w/ r/coronavirus and panicking for weeks, I'm starting to feel disassociated from it, like I know it's real but part of me thinks "don't worry, won't happen to me". Part of that is that I'm in rural utah and we have 40 cases in a huge 3-4 county area w/ 100k+ people. It's not like I'm in NY where I can hear the sirens all day. I'm also getting tired of frozen food and home-cooked dinners. We do order delivery or drive-thru 1-2 times per week, but I'm always paranoid when I do but I feel I'm getting more 'comfortable' and less paranoid, which could bite me in the ass as I'm higher risk (obesity, 40, sleep apnea). probably part of it is also the longer days make it go so much slower, and even my introverted self wants to get out of the house and do something besides this all day everyday for the next year.