I think this is what Thiel would call peak “indeterminate optimism”. You don’t seem to be afflicted by the indeterminate side, which is good, but it also means

I think this is what Thiel would call peak “indeterminate optimism”. You don’t seem to be afflicted by the indeterminate side, which is good, but it also means this dissonance is not going away anytime soon: the majority of most of the institutions (read: 75% of <school>) that you’re trying to get in to are equally as determinate and character-forming as the one you find yourself in now. They won’t challenge you to commit or reward you for vertical growth. Their communities will encourage you to seek out internships that will not challenge you or make you rounded, but are rather designed to “keep your options open”. When postsecondary graduation comes around, they will encourage you to pick a career path that matches those internships. It is very hard to escape those social pressures. You have a good head on your shoulders and you should feel proud of that. Don’t let others’ anxieties be your own.