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Most opinions and suggestions are based on the "standard path of success". If we use beauty contest as an analogy of success, only one will be the winner and al

Most opinions and suggestions are based on the "standard path of success". If we use beauty contest as an analogy of success, only one will be the winner and all losers. In case of North American perspective, success looks like this: - Have good academic credentials - Have good big corporation names on your resume - Have good connections - Have nice car - Have nice house - Have kids, partner, etc. - Travel a lot when retired If we based our life against that standard, then it is going to be easier to be depressed once a person's life deviates from it. The other extreme, suggested by some others here, is to accept and be content about "c'est la vie" concept - life will suck and get over it, and its variations. I think that is wrong because it reinforces the idea there is only one way to succeed and have a good life. My suggestion is simpler: - Cover your base: do you have a place to live? do you feel safe where you live? do you have good quality food that you like to eat? do you have a group of friends to hangout and rely on? do you have an income source that is relatively stable? - Then you can focus on whatever you want to do; free yourself from rigid standards and paths. You can even pursue the stereotypical success lifestyle knowing that even if you fail, you can recover fast and try again.

mgolawala 6y ago
Well said. I was reading the responses, and seeing the implicit group consensus on what "success" looks like. The thing though is, your entire life outcome is based on luck. There is nothing you can really do to compensate for that, besides getting back up, brushing the dust of your knees, counting your blessings and keep going. List of things that are luck: 1) Where you were born in the wrong place at the wrong time. (think Afghanistan, North Korea, Venezuela, etc.) 2) Being born the wrong gender in the majority of the world by population (ie female). 3) Being born with the wrong sexual orientation in a huge chunk of the world. 4) Being born with a health condition (physical or mental), or with a learning disability. Even a mild one like ADHD or dyslexia. 5) Being born to the wrong set of parents. ie. belonging to the wrong community/religion/race... in the majority of the world. Honestly, even your mental capacity and grit are to a large extent (if not completely) luck. If developed via nurture, you didn't pick how you were nurtured. If nature, you didn't pick the genetic combination you were born with. So really, what is left? What percentage of your 'success' can you actually take credit for?
- achillesheels 6y ago
  Luck presupposes different outcomes of what will be determined. How can a person have different outcomes from the origin of their conception? I encourage you to read my essay On the Skill of Luck: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XKPJ9ZY/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_551OEbG5FK6MM https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XKPJ9ZY/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_...
- BossingAround 6y ago
  > If developed via nurture, you didn't pick how you were nurtured You pick how you nurture yourself every day though. Nurture didn't magically stop on the second you became 18 (or 21 or whatever arbitrary number your country recognizes as becoming an adult).
_davebennett 6y ago
This is so true! I wish more people would recognize it

mgolawala 6y ago

Well said. I was reading the responses, and seeing the implicit group consensus on what "success" looks like. The thing though is, your entire life outcome is based on luck. There is nothing you can really do to compensate for that, besides getting back up, brushing the dust of your knees, counting your blessings and keep going. List of things that are luck: 1) Where you were born in the wrong place at the wrong time. (think Afghanistan, North Korea, Venezuela, etc.) 2) Being born the wrong gender in the majority of the world by population (ie female). 3) Being born with the wrong sexual orientation in a huge chunk of the world. 4) Being born with a health condition (physical or mental), or with a learning disability. Even a mild one like ADHD or dyslexia. 5) Being born to the wrong set of parents. ie. belonging to the wrong community/religion/race... in the majority of the world. Honestly, even your mental capacity and grit are to a large extent (if not completely) luck. If developed via nurture, you didn't pick how you were nurtured. If nature, you didn't pick the genetic combination you were born with. So really, what is left? What percentage of your 'success' can you actually take credit for?

achillesheels 6y ago
Luck presupposes different outcomes of what will be determined. How can a person have different outcomes from the origin of their conception? I encourage you to read my essay On the Skill of Luck: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XKPJ9ZY/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_551OEbG5FK6MM https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XKPJ9ZY/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_...
BossingAround 6y ago
> If developed via nurture, you didn't pick how you were nurtured You pick how you nurture yourself every day though. Nurture didn't magically stop on the second you became 18 (or 21 or whatever arbitrary number your country recognizes as becoming an adult).

_davebennett 6y ago

This is so true! I wish more people would recognize it