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I retain an average of less than two friends from each previous job - that's how many people with values that I share I can find in any given company.
by Tade0 7y ago
I retain an average of less than two friends from each previous job - that's how many people with values that I share I can find in any given company.
- chesterarthur 7y agoYou have to share values with someone to be their friend?
- Insanity 7y agoTo form a long-lasting friendship, you need at least some common ground to touch on.
- chesterarthur 7y agoShared interest and mutual respect is different than shared values
- Kye 7y agoSome values are incompatible with mutual respect.
- werber 7y agoThat's the great thing about co-worker friends. I don't have tech friends from my "real" life, but I have a ton of random friends from old jobs I talk to and (in what seems like a different life, before COVID-19) get together with regularly. What started as joking about agile processes is now planning weird trips and brunches.
- phaemon 7y agoYes. That's why none of my friends are neo-nazis, for example.
- Tade0 7y agoI need to share any subset o values. Otherwise there's no space for dialogue. I believe this is the norm.
- meddlepal 7y agoAre people using values to mean interests? I need to share some interests: sports, beer, model building, architecture etc... Values though? I can't see that being the norm unless your shared interest is politics, religion, or social order/dynamics.
- ReactiveJelly 7y agoNot really. It's hard to get along with people if I know that they're opposite me on some very important political axis, or they think I'm going to their version of Hell. I know I'm more sensitive about this than most people. I'm also generally not good at making friends. But it's a fact.
- blumomo 7y agoaren’t you valuing tennis as a sport if you like to talk about it with colleagues? I’d say that interests and values go a long way together.
- mLuby 7y agoIn the US at least, "values" has come to mean ethical positions, like those brands and politicians claim. For example, "treating all life as sacred" or "helping the neediest" or "maintaining our traditions." A person might say that politicians and brands "share my values." Different from interests, hobbies, or shared experiences that provide the basis for most friendships.
- Tade0 7y agoI don't. I literally mean values. I have people with shared interests added as "friends" on facebook, but my actual friends are those with whom I have some common ground - even if it's something as abstract as the shared belief that nothing is ever "100% done" or that politics is just a game of appearances and one shouldn't get too invested emotionally in them.