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Due to their youth and inexperience, we generally try to shield teenagers from the most serious consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, we can't do this w

Due to their youth and inexperience, we generally try to shield teenagers from the most serious consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, we can't do this with the biological consequences of pregnancy. That's why it's natural to put more effort into preventing daughters from having sex.

globular-toast 7y ago
Well, there is one way. It's called abortion. But most people still agree that prevention is a better option.
- sk5t 7y ago
  I wouldn't call surgical intervention and long-term emotional cost a very effective "shield," would you? It's an unfortunate mitigation at best.
  - tehjoker 7y ago
    In the 1960s they invented something called "the pill". Look it up.
  - dempseye 7y ago
    For most women abortion has no serious lasting negative psychological consequences.
    - ikeyany 7y ago
      This is an incredible statement to make without any evidence. Although I would also ask you for evidence if you claimed abortion led to trauma for "most women".
      - dempseye 7y ago
        This is a good review. Note that I am not saying that no women experience serious negative psychological consequences. Some do. https://www.sexualwellbeing.ie/for-professionals/research/research-reports/psychological-effects-of-abortion-on-women-a-review-of-the-literature.pdf https://www.sexualwellbeing.ie/for-professionals/research/re...
  - globular-toast 7y ago
    No, but some people think it is.
xenocyon 7y ago
The consequences for a young boy saddled with the long term consequences of fatherhood or child support are serious. Secondly, if parents were truly concerned about this they would provide condoms, support, and healthcare rather than stern (and ultimately useless) admonitions and, even worse, sexist jokes. It's not a coincidence that states with a reactionary attitude to sex and sexism see the highest rate of teen pregnancies.
- nostrademons 7y ago
  I think the implication is that it's easier for young boys to get out of their parental responsibilities than for young girls. I've seen, a number of times, friends & family & random Internet advice-givers of teenage fathers say "Get a paternity test!" or "Don't sign anything". Particularly if they're close with the father but don't like the mother. Sometimes even if the dad-to-be is excited about having a kid. It's a very marked contrast to how we treat adult males (and what we claim to value as a society), where the advice is usually "Time to man up, get a job, and be a dad." No such thing as a maternity test, and we tend to excoriate young mothers who might want to shirk their maternal responsibilities. There's probably something revealing there about self-interest and who we identify with in a situation.
  - woah 7y ago
    No such thing as a maternity test? Isn’t it kind of obvious?
    - nostrademons 7y ago
      That was the point. Everybody knows who the mother of a baby is; fathers have plausible deniability.
    - ben_w 7y ago
      Usually. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Fairchild https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Fairchild Linked case wasn’t even the one I was looking for, but the cause was the same. Still the mother, but surprisingly non-obvious.
magic_beans 7y ago
Instead of trying to prevent daughters from having sex, parents need to educate their daughters on fertility cycles. Women are only fertile for a limited amount of time during each cycle. Sympto-thermal fertility tracking methods, as described in the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler, empower women to understand exactly when in their cycles they are fertile. Understanding your personal cycle of fertility means you can accurately predict your period, understand precisely when you have ovulated, know when you are fertile and infertile in your cycle, and avoid the side effects of hormonal birth control. I have personally used sympto-thermal fertility tracking as my exclusive method of birth control within a relationship for 2 years.
- nkozyra 7y ago
  Of course this works, but most people who want to prepare their teenagers for the consequences of a sex life will push for condoms and possibly additional birth control. Pregnancy is just one consequence, obviously. Culturally, a lot of people still would rather use tactics intended (with whatever level of efficacy) to prevent teenagers from being sexually active altogether.
- twomoretime 7y ago
  This is all true but unfortunately in our society we seem to have decided that no one could possibly be responsible enough to follow such a self-monitored schedule and instead the responsible thing to do is just tell people it doesn't work. Like our gov and the WHO telling us not to wear masks recently. Most women in my experience are pretty regular and you can trivially avoid having sex for an exta few days out of the month. Coupled with "external finishes" i have a feeling this is actually a valid method of birth control for responsible couples.
- layoutIfNeeded 7y ago
  >I have personally used sympto-thermal fertility tracking as my exclusive method of birth control within a relationship for 2 years. Are you sure neither of you is sterile?
- daxorid 7y ago
  This method, while effective, is likely to be a significant frustration for the woman in this situation, given that cyclical high fertility usually coincides with high sex drive.

globular-toast 7y ago

Well, there is one way. It's called abortion. But most people still agree that prevention is a better option.

sk5t 7y ago
I wouldn't call surgical intervention and long-term emotional cost a very effective "shield," would you? It's an unfortunate mitigation at best.
- tehjoker 7y ago
  In the 1960s they invented something called "the pill". Look it up.
- dempseye 7y ago
  For most women abortion has no serious lasting negative psychological consequences.
  - ikeyany 7y ago
    This is an incredible statement to make without any evidence. Although I would also ask you for evidence if you claimed abortion led to trauma for "most women".
    - dempseye 7y ago
      This is a good review. Note that I am not saying that no women experience serious negative psychological consequences. Some do. https://www.sexualwellbeing.ie/for-professionals/research/research-reports/psychological-effects-of-abortion-on-women-a-review-of-the-literature.pdf https://www.sexualwellbeing.ie/for-professionals/research/re...
- globular-toast 7y ago
  No, but some people think it is.

xenocyon 7y ago

The consequences for a young boy saddled with the long term consequences of fatherhood or child support are serious. Secondly, if parents were truly concerned about this they would provide condoms, support, and healthcare rather than stern (and ultimately useless) admonitions and, even worse, sexist jokes. It's not a coincidence that states with a reactionary attitude to sex and sexism see the highest rate of teen pregnancies.

nostrademons 7y ago
I think the implication is that it's easier for young boys to get out of their parental responsibilities than for young girls. I've seen, a number of times, friends & family & random Internet advice-givers of teenage fathers say "Get a paternity test!" or "Don't sign anything". Particularly if they're close with the father but don't like the mother. Sometimes even if the dad-to-be is excited about having a kid. It's a very marked contrast to how we treat adult males (and what we claim to value as a society), where the advice is usually "Time to man up, get a job, and be a dad." No such thing as a maternity test, and we tend to excoriate young mothers who might want to shirk their maternal responsibilities. There's probably something revealing there about self-interest and who we identify with in a situation.
- woah 7y ago
  No such thing as a maternity test? Isn’t it kind of obvious?
  - nostrademons 7y ago
    That was the point. Everybody knows who the mother of a baby is; fathers have plausible deniability.
  - ben_w 7y ago
    Usually. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Fairchild https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Fairchild Linked case wasn’t even the one I was looking for, but the cause was the same. Still the mother, but surprisingly non-obvious.

magic_beans 7y ago

Instead of trying to prevent daughters from having sex, parents need to educate their daughters on fertility cycles. Women are only fertile for a limited amount of time during each cycle. Sympto-thermal fertility tracking methods, as described in the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler, empower women to understand exactly when in their cycles they are fertile. Understanding your personal cycle of fertility means you can accurately predict your period, understand precisely when you have ovulated, know when you are fertile and infertile in your cycle, and avoid the side effects of hormonal birth control. I have personally used sympto-thermal fertility tracking as my exclusive method of birth control within a relationship for 2 years.

nkozyra 7y ago
Of course this works, but most people who want to prepare their teenagers for the consequences of a sex life will push for condoms and possibly additional birth control. Pregnancy is just one consequence, obviously. Culturally, a lot of people still would rather use tactics intended (with whatever level of efficacy) to prevent teenagers from being sexually active altogether.
twomoretime 7y ago
This is all true but unfortunately in our society we seem to have decided that no one could possibly be responsible enough to follow such a self-monitored schedule and instead the responsible thing to do is just tell people it doesn't work. Like our gov and the WHO telling us not to wear masks recently. Most women in my experience are pretty regular and you can trivially avoid having sex for an exta few days out of the month. Coupled with "external finishes" i have a feeling this is actually a valid method of birth control for responsible couples.
layoutIfNeeded 7y ago
>I have personally used sympto-thermal fertility tracking as my exclusive method of birth control within a relationship for 2 years. Are you sure neither of you is sterile?
daxorid 7y ago
This method, while effective, is likely to be a significant frustration for the woman in this situation, given that cyclical high fertility usually coincides with high sex drive.