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There's way more to whether an individual is cut out to cope with an extended quarantine than their "choice" of housing and proximity to population center. I wo

There's way more to whether an individual is cut out to cope with an extended quarantine than their "choice" of housing and proximity to population center. I would argue that's probably one of the least influential factors. Way ahead of it would be things such as whether you have kids, a spouse, money, as well as other personality traits beyond just extroverted/introverted. Not to mention it's highly dubious to suggest that introverted people can or do avoid the city for housing and extroverted people avoid the suburbs.

op00to 7y ago
Jesus I wish my kids would go off to summer camp for a few months. They are what’s making this most unbearable for me.
- VBprogrammer 7y ago
  Each to their own. For me one of the best things about about the lock down is being able to spend more time with my daughter and be more involved with caring for her.
  - touisteur 7y ago
    And learning to live together in a different way. One of my kids is learning to play around me, with very little interruption, is learning the concept silence during phone calls. She choses low energy activities now and it's great. Sometimes she wants to talk, or a hug, or to see what I'm doing, and it's OK, she's curious. Sometimes I'm not available and she drifts away, with no hurt feelings. And she also understands far better 'I' m trying to concentrate' now. I surprise myself taking breaks to drink tea and play with her (puzzles, reading, having her read, do some short yoga, sometimes even dancing with her a bit). It has brought my kids and I far far closer.
- jeffrallen 7y ago
  I wonder if this time could be a gift to help you see things from their point of view. I suspect they are NOT dreaming of the moment they can ship you off to work again.
  - steve_adams_86 7y ago
    No, my kids seem to love being home. They're crafting, skate boarding, learning to bake and cook, playing with each other, generally being kids all day. The other day one of them said they can't wait for summer break. I asked what would be different and they said 'no school work', haha. They have about 60 minutes per day of remote learning to do. Apparently more of this would be okay. I thought they'd miss socializing a lot more than they do so far. Instead being trapped at home with dad is similar to vacation.
  - op00to 7y ago
    My kid has specifically begged for schools to open. He misses his friends. I work from home normally, at least the past 10 years.
- silveroriole 7y ago
  Why did you have kids if you hate being with them...?
  - im3w1l 7y ago
    Too much of a good thing?
  - mschuster91 7y ago
    Probably 'cause they're high energy kids who normally can let go of said energy on playgrounds, in kindergarten or at school, while now they're stuck in a home too small with no way to let out their energy, while their parents both still have to work from home and have no time / energy to do both work and childcare. At the same time, parents can't let go of their own frustration because no sport, driving around, or any other way of having time to cool down thanks to lockdowns. Self isolation is pretty easy if you're single or with a partner with no kids, in an adequately sized home where there is enough space not to feel cramped, and with a garden. If one or more of these things is lacking, it gets ever harder and harder the longer the lockdowns are in place.
    - alttab 7y ago
      This. Single folks without children have no gauge on reality during a lockdown, especially if they still have jobs and are working from home.
      - lazylizard 7y ago
        I chose not to get married and have kids. I like being alone. I dont want anything to do with kids. As far as I'm concerned you picked your bargain, i picked mine. I do not expect any sympathy when i die alone either.
        steve_adams_86 7y ago
        Why can't imperfection of choice or opportunity warrant sympathy? Life is difficult for a multitude of reasons. I don't expect anyone to get everything right, and I sympathize with everyone's occasional want for more or regret or loss, whatever it might be.
- thathndude 7y ago
  Ooof
- tomp 7y ago
  The thing that has most surprised me during this pandemic, even more than the abysmal response of all Western governments, is how many people hate their kids (or are at least extremely annoyed by them).
  - PeterisP 7y ago
    I don't hate my kids, but I can either work from home or do childcare at home, not both at the same time. Trying to do both well is impossible (at least for me), and extreme annoyance is an inevitable result. Taking care of kids for the day while parents are busy working is one of the many key functions of modern education institutions, and they're not fulfilling that function right now - this gap needs to be filled somehow, and it's not an easy gap to fill without major changes of how millions of people work. E.g. going back to a situation where one spouse is a dedicated housekeeper and is pretty much forced not to work is technically a solution but I'm not sure if we as a society really want to go there. And the usual alternative solutions e.g. using extended family/grandparents for childcare, or cooperating/sharing childcare in a community tend to be explicitly prohibited by the social distancing measures.
    - greedo 7y ago
      Warehousing kids should not be "one of the many key functions of modern education institutions."
      - monktastic1 7y ago
        Where did you read "warehousing?" The comment said "taking care of." Are you arguing that education institutions should not take care of kids?
        greedo 7y ago
        I'm arguing that education institutions in the US should be tasked primarily with education, not babysitting, or "taking care" of kids. For a country that spends as much as we do on K-12 education, we get sub-optimal results, largely because some people view educators as glorified babysitters. Perhaps the value of educators will change as more parents deal with "taking care of their kids" during the various state shutdowns.
- everyone 7y ago
  Why did u have them in the 1st place in that case?
- sunir 7y ago
  If it helps to hear you aren’t alone, let me tell you my situation. First I note that kids lost access to schools, daycare, friends, grandparents, cousins, playgrounds, and have their parents actively ignoring them through the day. They also lost ice cream stores, toy stores, cinemas, etc if they were doing that as well. They don’t have any control. Their natural instinct is to continue to play if they can and push the boundaries if they can. And when kids get depressed they often act out more paradoxically. This leads to chaos if you’re also trying to work from home. I feel for my kids. So I don’t apologize to others if they intrude on my work; they are people too and going through the crisis too. But yes it is extremely stressful some portion of every day. I try myself to not blame them or myself for putting up with the situation, because that leads to frustration and anger and more stress; my wife and I are trying to create more and more capability in my home for the kids to self-entertain every day. We have a new daily structure. Goal charts. School time. Online learning games. Outdoor time. Messenger kids. Etc. It’s not painless. My wife and I are taking shifts during daylight hours so I work well past midnight every night to catch up. That also is impacting my ability to stay positive. But every day is a new day. Good luck and don’t be hard on yourself.
  - steve_adams_86 7y ago
    The shift work struggle is real. Keep at it, it'll get better. I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have work right now. Many of my friends don't, and that struggle is probably much worse.
- rv-de 7y ago
  But they'll suffer from environmental pollution and disasters, not to mention a neofascist society - so the joke's on them ...
esotericn 7y ago
My examples are deliberate simplifications e.g. ends of the spectrum, not intended to imply that all people with those personality traits would be in those situations. Almost anyone else would currently better off in a bigger home with more outdoor space regardless of personality, family, etc. The same is not true outside of "wartime".

op00to 7y ago

Jesus I wish my kids would go off to summer camp for a few months. They are what’s making this most unbearable for me.

VBprogrammer 7y ago
Each to their own. For me one of the best things about about the lock down is being able to spend more time with my daughter and be more involved with caring for her.
- touisteur 7y ago
  And learning to live together in a different way. One of my kids is learning to play around me, with very little interruption, is learning the concept silence during phone calls. She choses low energy activities now and it's great. Sometimes she wants to talk, or a hug, or to see what I'm doing, and it's OK, she's curious. Sometimes I'm not available and she drifts away, with no hurt feelings. And she also understands far better 'I' m trying to concentrate' now. I surprise myself taking breaks to drink tea and play with her (puzzles, reading, having her read, do some short yoga, sometimes even dancing with her a bit). It has brought my kids and I far far closer.
jeffrallen 7y ago
I wonder if this time could be a gift to help you see things from their point of view. I suspect they are NOT dreaming of the moment they can ship you off to work again.
- steve_adams_86 7y ago
  No, my kids seem to love being home. They're crafting, skate boarding, learning to bake and cook, playing with each other, generally being kids all day. The other day one of them said they can't wait for summer break. I asked what would be different and they said 'no school work', haha. They have about 60 minutes per day of remote learning to do. Apparently more of this would be okay. I thought they'd miss socializing a lot more than they do so far. Instead being trapped at home with dad is similar to vacation.
- op00to 7y ago
  My kid has specifically begged for schools to open. He misses his friends. I work from home normally, at least the past 10 years.
silveroriole 7y ago
Why did you have kids if you hate being with them...?
- im3w1l 7y ago
  Too much of a good thing?
- mschuster91 7y ago
  Probably 'cause they're high energy kids who normally can let go of said energy on playgrounds, in kindergarten or at school, while now they're stuck in a home too small with no way to let out their energy, while their parents both still have to work from home and have no time / energy to do both work and childcare. At the same time, parents can't let go of their own frustration because no sport, driving around, or any other way of having time to cool down thanks to lockdowns. Self isolation is pretty easy if you're single or with a partner with no kids, in an adequately sized home where there is enough space not to feel cramped, and with a garden. If one or more of these things is lacking, it gets ever harder and harder the longer the lockdowns are in place.
  - alttab 7y ago
    This. Single folks without children have no gauge on reality during a lockdown, especially if they still have jobs and are working from home.
    - lazylizard 7y ago
      I chose not to get married and have kids. I like being alone. I dont want anything to do with kids. As far as I'm concerned you picked your bargain, i picked mine. I do not expect any sympathy when i die alone either.
      - steve_adams_86 7y ago
        Why can't imperfection of choice or opportunity warrant sympathy? Life is difficult for a multitude of reasons. I don't expect anyone to get everything right, and I sympathize with everyone's occasional want for more or regret or loss, whatever it might be.
thathndude 7y ago
Ooof
tomp 7y ago
The thing that has most surprised me during this pandemic, even more than the abysmal response of all Western governments, is how many people hate their kids (or are at least extremely annoyed by them).
- PeterisP 7y ago
  I don't hate my kids, but I can either work from home or do childcare at home, not both at the same time. Trying to do both well is impossible (at least for me), and extreme annoyance is an inevitable result. Taking care of kids for the day while parents are busy working is one of the many key functions of modern education institutions, and they're not fulfilling that function right now - this gap needs to be filled somehow, and it's not an easy gap to fill without major changes of how millions of people work. E.g. going back to a situation where one spouse is a dedicated housekeeper and is pretty much forced not to work is technically a solution but I'm not sure if we as a society really want to go there. And the usual alternative solutions e.g. using extended family/grandparents for childcare, or cooperating/sharing childcare in a community tend to be explicitly prohibited by the social distancing measures.
  - greedo 7y ago
    Warehousing kids should not be "one of the many key functions of modern education institutions."
    - monktastic1 7y ago
      Where did you read "warehousing?" The comment said "taking care of." Are you arguing that education institutions should not take care of kids?
      - greedo 7y ago
        I'm arguing that education institutions in the US should be tasked primarily with education, not babysitting, or "taking care" of kids. For a country that spends as much as we do on K-12 education, we get sub-optimal results, largely because some people view educators as glorified babysitters. Perhaps the value of educators will change as more parents deal with "taking care of their kids" during the various state shutdowns.
everyone 7y ago
Why did u have them in the 1st place in that case?
sunir 7y ago
If it helps to hear you aren’t alone, let me tell you my situation. First I note that kids lost access to schools, daycare, friends, grandparents, cousins, playgrounds, and have their parents actively ignoring them through the day. They also lost ice cream stores, toy stores, cinemas, etc if they were doing that as well. They don’t have any control. Their natural instinct is to continue to play if they can and push the boundaries if they can. And when kids get depressed they often act out more paradoxically. This leads to chaos if you’re also trying to work from home. I feel for my kids. So I don’t apologize to others if they intrude on my work; they are people too and going through the crisis too. But yes it is extremely stressful some portion of every day. I try myself to not blame them or myself for putting up with the situation, because that leads to frustration and anger and more stress; my wife and I are trying to create more and more capability in my home for the kids to self-entertain every day. We have a new daily structure. Goal charts. School time. Online learning games. Outdoor time. Messenger kids. Etc. It’s not painless. My wife and I are taking shifts during daylight hours so I work well past midnight every night to catch up. That also is impacting my ability to stay positive. But every day is a new day. Good luck and don’t be hard on yourself.
- steve_adams_86 7y ago
  The shift work struggle is real. Keep at it, it'll get better. I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have work right now. Many of my friends don't, and that struggle is probably much worse.
rv-de 7y ago
But they'll suffer from environmental pollution and disasters, not to mention a neofascist society - so the joke's on them ...

esotericn 7y ago

My examples are deliberate simplifications e.g. ends of the spectrum, not intended to imply that all people with those personality traits would be in those situations. Almost anyone else would currently better off in a bigger home with more outdoor space regardless of personality, family, etc. The same is not true outside of "wartime".