What, you don't enjoy being stuck in a metal tub with thousands of other people, eating diner hall food and drinking overpriced cocktails only to enjoy watered

What, you don't enjoy being stuck in a metal tub with thousands of other people, eating diner hall food and drinking overpriced cocktails only to enjoy watered down visits to foreign ports for extremely short time periods? But I heard they have an infinite soda package for just $12 a day!