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It's not really a reaction that I expect from someone whose posts I have respected so well up to this point. There is a difference between acknowledging that s

It's not really a reaction that I expect from someone whose posts I have respected so well up to this point. There is a difference between acknowledging that some people are behaving in horrible ways and assuming that everyone must be educated about the need for inclusion. If someone assumes I am a mysogynist simply because I am a male gamer, that is a really terrible problem. I don't think that's what's happening here, but being open to the idea that someone may reasonably misinterpret the situation as such is not a massive stretch. Please don't assume that all people who have a different view of a situation are massive jerks. Understanding that different people have different perspectives is key to improving interpersonal problems. For example, I wonder if you know who the prime minister is?

DonHopkins 7y ago
Relax: Other people have much worse "really terrible problems" than having their feelings hurt because they mis-interpreted a female game designer describing her proudest achievement as implying that you're misogynistic because you're a male gamer. Was Gamergate news to you, or not? It sounds like you don't know anything about it (which is perfectly fine if you've been living in a cave for the past six years), or you're in denial that it happened and what its consequences were. The obvious answer to "Why is it a given that there will be such a misogynistic view?" is "Gamergate". It's not about your pain and anguish from being implicitly painted as a misogynist because you're male gamer. It's about your own words, not your gender or pastime. It's about the women who have been attacked and their careers destroyed, or their proudest achievements belittled by jerks on the internet saying things like "In some ways it is potentially a bit of a sad thing to be proud of." I'll admit it was kind of you to graciously hedge your attack with "potentially a bit", magnanimously allowing her the remote possibility of actually being proud of her achievement in a non-sad way. But to socially distance yourself from the responsibility of your own words, you should have thrown in a "some people say" or "a lot of people are saying" to give it more corn pone authenticity, to make it clear you're belittling her sense of pride in her greatest achievement on someone else's behalf, not on your own accord. You should familiarize yourself with the concept of your own "male fragility". https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a30324982/rise-of-online-harassment-decade-of-male-fragility/ https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a30324982/ris... The Prime Minster is Mark Rutte, of course.
- mikekchar 7y ago
  If I was clumsy in trying to express my point of view and insulted you or others, then I humbly and truly apologise. It certainly was not my intention. It is frustrating to be shouted down in such an aggressive manner by someone who is unable to understand what I was writing. I suppose that you fear the damage that might occur if someone were to similarly misunderstand as completely as you have done. I think that is a valid complaint. It is unfortunate because there are people who are being harmed by those who feel it is important to punish anyone who sees the world differently than they do. Frequently these people have done nothing wrong other than to be misunderstood. When we condemn people simply by association, we harm everyone. If we assume that someone is guilty of the horrible crimes that were committed in Gamergate simply because they happen to be male or a gamer or view things differently, we harm everyone. When I say that this is part of the problem, that's what I mean. This isn't making things better -- it's making them far worse. Please try to understand what your conversation partner is saying, why they are saying it and what they mean before you jump to conclusions.
  - DonHopkins 7y ago
    I already said: It's not because you're male or a gamer. It's because you belittled her.

DonHopkins 7y ago

Relax: Other people have much worse "really terrible problems" than having their feelings hurt because they mis-interpreted a female game designer describing her proudest achievement as implying that you're misogynistic because you're a male gamer. Was Gamergate news to you, or not? It sounds like you don't know anything about it (which is perfectly fine if you've been living in a cave for the past six years), or you're in denial that it happened and what its consequences were. The obvious answer to "Why is it a given that there will be such a misogynistic view?" is "Gamergate". It's not about your pain and anguish from being implicitly painted as a misogynist because you're male gamer. It's about your own words, not your gender or pastime. It's about the women who have been attacked and their careers destroyed, or their proudest achievements belittled by jerks on the internet saying things like "In some ways it is potentially a bit of a sad thing to be proud of." I'll admit it was kind of you to graciously hedge your attack with "potentially a bit", magnanimously allowing her the remote possibility of actually being proud of her achievement in a non-sad way. But to socially distance yourself from the responsibility of your own words, you should have thrown in a "some people say" or "a lot of people are saying" to give it more corn pone authenticity, to make it clear you're belittling her sense of pride in her greatest achievement on someone else's behalf, not on your own accord. You should familiarize yourself with the concept of your own "male fragility". https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a30324982/rise-of-online-harassment-decade-of-male-fragility/ https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a30324982/ris... The Prime Minster is Mark Rutte, of course.

mikekchar 7y ago
If I was clumsy in trying to express my point of view and insulted you or others, then I humbly and truly apologise. It certainly was not my intention. It is frustrating to be shouted down in such an aggressive manner by someone who is unable to understand what I was writing. I suppose that you fear the damage that might occur if someone were to similarly misunderstand as completely as you have done. I think that is a valid complaint. It is unfortunate because there are people who are being harmed by those who feel it is important to punish anyone who sees the world differently than they do. Frequently these people have done nothing wrong other than to be misunderstood. When we condemn people simply by association, we harm everyone. If we assume that someone is guilty of the horrible crimes that were committed in Gamergate simply because they happen to be male or a gamer or view things differently, we harm everyone. When I say that this is part of the problem, that's what I mean. This isn't making things better -- it's making them far worse. Please try to understand what your conversation partner is saying, why they are saying it and what they mean before you jump to conclusions.
- DonHopkins 7y ago
  I already said: It's not because you're male or a gamer. It's because you belittled her.