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So what will you do when you inevitably retire? We’ve spent our lives making work the center (US probably more so than EU). What you are describing can read as

So what will you do when you inevitably retire? We’ve spent our lives making work the center (US probably more so than EU). What you are describing can read as “I can’t bare WFH” or it can be “the pandemic severed me from my social circle, that happened to be at work”. For me, at some point I realized that work friends replaced most of my social circle, but when I changed companies, I lost touch with most of them. This felt disturbing when I realized that and I have since made the effort to cultivate the friendships and keep in touch better. This had the side-effect of no longer relying on the office for friendship/social contact outside of family/SO. I really don’t think we are talking about adapting to WFH, as much as we are seeing the effects of social structures that have emerged from concentrating people in offices. These have some overlap with work (promotion politics in most places?), but are largely orthogonal to the actual work at hand.

gspr 7y ago
While I haven't thought as far as retirement, I don't think I agree with the basic sentiment here. It's not that I need my "work friends". It's that I need my "work friends" while working. If I and all my "normal friends" were financially independent and didn't work (somehow I find it easier to picture, albeit far more unlikely, than retirement – go figure), I wouldn't feel robbed of social interactions at all. Well, maybe in the pandemic, but that's besides the point. "Work friends" have some special properties: they share the good and the bad of this work thing you're currently enjoying or stressing about. They're both trapped at work, which hopefully is an interesting enough place, yet it's hopefully not the center of anyone's lives. I think there's some value to this shared experience, even though it of course doesn't "outrank" "real friendship".
- sologoub 7y ago
  Interesting view. I’m not a psyc major, but that almost sounds like a coping mechanism with the “trapped” sense. From that angle, office doesn’t sound like that happy of a place either. Sincerely hope that you are able to untrap yourself in all circumstances and get back to the happier state!

gspr 7y ago

While I haven't thought as far as retirement, I don't think I agree with the basic sentiment here. It's not that I need my "work friends". It's that I need my "work friends" while working. If I and all my "normal friends" were financially independent and didn't work (somehow I find it easier to picture, albeit far more unlikely, than retirement – go figure), I wouldn't feel robbed of social interactions at all. Well, maybe in the pandemic, but that's besides the point. "Work friends" have some special properties: they share the good and the bad of this work thing you're currently enjoying or stressing about. They're both trapped at work, which hopefully is an interesting enough place, yet it's hopefully not the center of anyone's lives. I think there's some value to this shared experience, even though it of course doesn't "outrank" "real friendship".

sologoub 7y ago
Interesting view. I’m not a psyc major, but that almost sounds like a coping mechanism with the “trapped” sense. From that angle, office doesn’t sound like that happy of a place either. Sincerely hope that you are able to untrap yourself in all circumstances and get back to the happier state!