Do not lie. I'm at a stage in my career where internships I did in university are irrelevant. At one point I included them in my CV when I felt like they added

Do not lie. I'm at a stage in my career where internships I did in university are irrelevant. At one point I included them in my CV when I felt like they added something of value but they are no longer pertinent and I don't talk about them. If you feel like your two short stints do not add value to showcasing your experience then omit them. Your resume is your chance to showcase your skills and experience. Note that this is different than being asked on a form to list your last three employers. Something that again you will not want to lie about. If asked about a potential continuity break you tell them the truth, that those short stints did not add value to your skill set, nor reflect your long term plans. That is my recommendation anyways. One thing you might also want to think about is that perhaps working with an under performing team is an opportunity. If you can lead an under performing team to success then you could be a hero (just as in the movie).