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I thought it was a good obit: > To memorialize Gerv’s passing, it is fitting that we remember all of Gerv — the full person, good and bad, the damage and trau

by orra 7y ago

I thought it was a good obit: > To memorialize Gerv’s passing, it is fitting that we remember all of Gerv — the full person, good and bad, the damage and trauma he caused, as well as his many positive contributions. Any other view is sentimental. We should be clear-eyed, acknowledge the problems, and appreciate the positive contributions. Yes, let's remember the good. And let us be polite. But we should not sanctify the dead, by pretending they never caused others hurt if they did. Again, I thought the obit got this balance just right.

glaslong 7y ago
It definitely runs up against social taboos to speak so frankly of the departed, but I find it refreshing personally. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but were I to die tomorrow I would actually prefer that the whole of my life is remembered: - Accomplishments recognized, good and bad. - Loved ones given space to grieve. - And anyone I may have hurt allowed their feelings of relief. Our legacy is what we leave behind, not just net change, or the parts we wish it to be.
- throw7 7y ago
  It's just poor taste to talk smack about a dead guy. Her "eulogy" came off as a kind of personal grievance even, which just made it worse... she should really know better being in a supervisory/executive level.
  - glaslong 7y ago
    I didn’t read it as smack talk. Though I agree most will probably see it that way, so it is poor taste by definition. I never knew the man, but personally I feel like I have a greater appreciation for who he was than if the In Memoriam had only mentioned positive contributions. It makes him feel more real and human to me. It‘s certainly bad form for someone in leadership, but in the same way that I appreciate leaders who break from PR spin to acknowledge and explain the nuance, I also appreciate a more balanced remembrance.
DavidVoid 7y ago
I've always hated how as soon as someone dies, people pretend that they never did anything wrong. And if anyone dares to bring up the bad things they did then that person usually gets strongly criticized and told to be more compassionate or whatever. I definitely think people should be polite about their grievances ofc, but ignoring the bad stuff a person did throughout their life is more damaging than acknowledging it. Westworld actress Evan Rachel Wood, herself a survivor of rape and sexual abuse, got a lot of shit recently for her tweet about the late Koby Bryant for example. "What has happened is tragic. I am heartbroken for Kobe’s family. He was a sports hero. He was also a rapist. And all of these truths can exist simultaneously" Context about the case for those unfamiliar: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_Bryant_sexual_assault_case https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_Bryant_sexual_assault_cas...

by orra 7y ago

glaslong 7y ago

It definitely runs up against social taboos to speak so frankly of the departed, but I find it refreshing personally. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but were I to die tomorrow I would actually prefer that the whole of my life is remembered: - Accomplishments recognized, good and bad. - Loved ones given space to grieve. - And anyone I may have hurt allowed their feelings of relief. Our legacy is what we leave behind, not just net change, or the parts we wish it to be.

throw7 7y ago
It's just poor taste to talk smack about a dead guy. Her "eulogy" came off as a kind of personal grievance even, which just made it worse... she should really know better being in a supervisory/executive level.
- glaslong 7y ago
  I didn’t read it as smack talk. Though I agree most will probably see it that way, so it is poor taste by definition. I never knew the man, but personally I feel like I have a greater appreciation for who he was than if the In Memoriam had only mentioned positive contributions. It makes him feel more real and human to me. It‘s certainly bad form for someone in leadership, but in the same way that I appreciate leaders who break from PR spin to acknowledge and explain the nuance, I also appreciate a more balanced remembrance.

DavidVoid 7y ago

I've always hated how as soon as someone dies, people pretend that they never did anything wrong. And if anyone dares to bring up the bad things they did then that person usually gets strongly criticized and told to be more compassionate or whatever. I definitely think people should be polite about their grievances ofc, but ignoring the bad stuff a person did throughout their life is more damaging than acknowledging it. Westworld actress Evan Rachel Wood, herself a survivor of rape and sexual abuse, got a lot of shit recently for her tweet about the late Koby Bryant for example. "What has happened is tragic. I am heartbroken for Kobe’s family. He was a sports hero. He was also a rapist. And all of these truths can exist simultaneously" Context about the case for those unfamiliar: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_Bryant_sexual_assault_case https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobe_Bryant_sexual_assault_cas...