Get some cheap clippers, use the ~#2 guard, and deforest that shit. Crack hair is useful for a lot of things, keeping skin from rubbing, fart silencing, sweat

Get some cheap clippers, use the ~#2 guard, and deforest that shit. Crack hair is useful for a lot of things, keeping skin from rubbing, fart silencing, sweat management, etc. But you only need a bit of hair for that to work. 80% of the length can be removed with no ill effect, but dramatic improvement in general cleanliness and comfort.