Trying to learn some oratory and/or one on one communication skills and not having much of a clue where to start! My problems - I feel like I fail to quickly a

Trying to learn some oratory and/or one on one communication skills and not having much of a clue where to start! My problems - I feel like I fail to quickly assess the other person and fail to adjust my communication - so I am either way too technical in the lingo or way too much of a layman talk that makes it feel like I am being insincere! I also fail to give up the 'problem solving' angle in communication - like I have to remind myself constantly that communication is rarely transactional or a means to an end. I am realizing what I am missing is that I fail to take interest in other people and their viewpoints and with some concrete strategies and practice I could do better. It's never been a problem as such - the few times it was a problem I managed to retry and resolve, but I want to bring joy and ease into my in-person communications.