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Wow, what's most striking to me is the paragraph's writing has gone from simple and well written to something a middle-school student would produce: ", as well
by matthewaveryusa 7y ago
Wow, what's most striking to me is the paragraph's writing has gone from simple and well written to something a middle-school student would produce:
", as well" -- unnecessary
"stop-gap buffer" -- redundant
"immediate supply...immediately available" -- redundant. If you really want to use "immediate" twice in a sentence for some unknown reason, use a synonym.
These three things are objectively bad writing, and this is coming from an engineer that isn't exactly Shakespeare.
- rdiddly 7y agoThe messy debris of a mind fighting itself.
- Krasnol 7y agoMaybe Trump wrote it himself.
- Balgair 7y agoThe Elements of Style would implode. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elements_of_Style https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elements_of_Style Though not the best book on writing in English, not by a long shot, it is a fantastic intro/solution to the question of 'How do I write better?'.