6 ms·

>> The problem is more insidious, though; the way that we build our settlements has deep implications for our civic life, our communities, our patterns of inter

>> The problem is more insidious, though; the way that we build our settlements has deep implications for our civic life, our communities, our patterns of interaction, the relationships we form, the company we keep, and ultimately, the purpose and meaning we find in our lives. I've been waiting for this view to be shared by anyone else. I've been in the US for 20 years, since I was 11 years old. Midwest -> West Coast -> Midwest. In the Midwest, it's hard to live anywhere but suburbia. Five years in California, and the best time I had was two years in a 300 sq ft in-law apartment in Berkeley, squashed in between friendly neighbors, cousins and frequent visitors. I've lived in India, China and traveled many other developing nations including Brazil and parts of Africa. The stark difference to mental and emotional well-being is scary. At this time, I don't know if the conveniences of American life are worth the hit. Suburbia is harmful to mental and emotional well-being and it's unavoidable for the vast majority of Americans.

dchyrdvh 7y ago
Harmful for some, good for others. Not everyone loves crowds and noise.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
- dhruvkar 7y ago
  Absence of suburbia != crowds and noise. There's a level of isolation in the suburban US that's hard to put into words if you haven't experienced any alternatives. That may also be true for other developed nations, I don't have first hand experience.
  - dchyrdvh 7y ago
    I have experienced alternatives a good part of my life. The words I'd use to describe American suburbs are: quiet, green, peaceful. I get that many people are scared to be alone, but that's entirely in their heads.
- crdotson 7y ago
  Thank goodness somebody else realizes that not everyone likes to be crammed in small areas with lots of other people. It’s amazing how much diversity (which is a good thing!) is praised by many of the same people who think everyone likes big cities because they like big cities.
opportune 7y ago
So is our cultural aversion to multifamily households. I'm in my mid 20's living on the West coast, and have seriously considered getting a 2bed condo or small house and asking my parents to move in with me. I'm white and my parents are from the US as well, so it's not something that's culturally expected of me at all - it just seems like a good idea for socialization, getting help around the house, maintaining relationships. But when I've broached the topic with friends and even my own parents they think I'm absolutely crazy. I could see it being harmful for dating solely because of the cultural expectations, but I really don't see what the problem would be. Suburbia is also so harmful to the elderly. I saw it happen to my grandparents where they usually only socialized with each other indefinitely unless someone came to visit with them. They couldn't drive, so they had to have someone get groceries for them or take them shopping every week. They had no need to walk around or climb stairs on a regular basis, so entire parts of their own home were completely off limits to them, and I think it contributed to them losing the ability to do so. Of course they didn't want to leave their house, but living in suburbia also made it much harder for family members to take care of them, because everything was out of the way. Thinking about it still makes me sick - it seems so stupid to me that this is the life we decided to invest in across most of the country.
refurb 7y ago
You do realize that suburbia was created because of demand? People wanted to work in a city, but have a home with more space, more families, hence suburbia. The way you describe it is that it's some bizarre form of living that was forced upon people.
threatofrain 7y ago
Churches and special interest communities make all the difference, but you have to be very deliberate about it.
analog31 7y ago
You have to make "sacrifices" to live in a higher density area. I put the word in quotes because it's of course highly subjective, and some folks consider living in suburbia to be a sacrifice. I live and work in a mid sized town in the Midwest. My main uses for a car are related to being a part time working musician, and I could probably figure out how to use Uber/Lyft/Cab for that activity. My spouse and I can both bike to work, and are within walk / bike distance of basic shopping. But if you want that lifestyle, you have to demand it. Perhaps somewhere like Berkeley, you don't demand it because it's thrust on you, or the alternative involves 2 hour commutes each way. Perhaps you won't be as choosy about your job, which in any event is a feature of living in a less dense / rich area. And of course the other problem with the US is that you feel like you have to reach for that high income, because of the risks of being poor or even middle class in a cutthroat society. I suspect if we had free health care and a better safety net, people would be more willing to make those "sacrifices" and live a slower paced lifestyle.

dchyrdvh 7y ago

Harmful for some, good for others. Not everyone loves crowds and noise.

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
dhruvkar 7y ago
Absence of suburbia != crowds and noise. There's a level of isolation in the suburban US that's hard to put into words if you haven't experienced any alternatives. That may also be true for other developed nations, I don't have first hand experience.
- dchyrdvh 7y ago
  I have experienced alternatives a good part of my life. The words I'd use to describe American suburbs are: quiet, green, peaceful. I get that many people are scared to be alone, but that's entirely in their heads.
crdotson 7y ago
Thank goodness somebody else realizes that not everyone likes to be crammed in small areas with lots of other people. It’s amazing how much diversity (which is a good thing!) is praised by many of the same people who think everyone likes big cities because they like big cities.

opportune 7y ago

So is our cultural aversion to multifamily households. I'm in my mid 20's living on the West coast, and have seriously considered getting a 2bed condo or small house and asking my parents to move in with me. I'm white and my parents are from the US as well, so it's not something that's culturally expected of me at all - it just seems like a good idea for socialization, getting help around the house, maintaining relationships. But when I've broached the topic with friends and even my own parents they think I'm absolutely crazy. I could see it being harmful for dating solely because of the cultural expectations, but I really don't see what the problem would be. Suburbia is also so harmful to the elderly. I saw it happen to my grandparents where they usually only socialized with each other indefinitely unless someone came to visit with them. They couldn't drive, so they had to have someone get groceries for them or take them shopping every week. They had no need to walk around or climb stairs on a regular basis, so entire parts of their own home were completely off limits to them, and I think it contributed to them losing the ability to do so. Of course they didn't want to leave their house, but living in suburbia also made it much harder for family members to take care of them, because everything was out of the way. Thinking about it still makes me sick - it seems so stupid to me that this is the life we decided to invest in across most of the country.

refurb 7y ago

You do realize that suburbia was created because of demand? People wanted to work in a city, but have a home with more space, more families, hence suburbia. The way you describe it is that it's some bizarre form of living that was forced upon people.

threatofrain 7y ago

Churches and special interest communities make all the difference, but you have to be very deliberate about it.

analog31 7y ago

You have to make "sacrifices" to live in a higher density area. I put the word in quotes because it's of course highly subjective, and some folks consider living in suburbia to be a sacrifice. I live and work in a mid sized town in the Midwest. My main uses for a car are related to being a part time working musician, and I could probably figure out how to use Uber/Lyft/Cab for that activity. My spouse and I can both bike to work, and are within walk / bike distance of basic shopping. But if you want that lifestyle, you have to demand it. Perhaps somewhere like Berkeley, you don't demand it because it's thrust on you, or the alternative involves 2 hour commutes each way. Perhaps you won't be as choosy about your job, which in any event is a feature of living in a less dense / rich area. And of course the other problem with the US is that you feel like you have to reach for that high income, because of the risks of being poor or even middle class in a cutthroat society. I suspect if we had free health care and a better safety net, people would be more willing to make those "sacrifices" and live a slower paced lifestyle.