4 ms·

>How stingy do you have to be to only send back $300 every month Is this an Armenian thing or an immigrant families in general thing? From my perspective that'

>How stingy do you have to be to only send back $300 every month Is this an Armenian thing or an immigrant families in general thing? From my perspective that's a breathtaking level of entitlement. If I accomplished the difficult task of establishing myself in a new country and was then generous enough to donate money to my relatives on an ongoing basis, whining about how much I give them would probably result not only in the money stopping but me never speaking to them again.

kazen44 7y ago
This is also a cultural difference i think. The US as a society is highly individualistic. Living on your own at 18 for instance, is considered absurd in a lot of regions of the world because children are supposed to care for their father/mother later in life.
- StavrosK 7y ago
  You're right in general, but the "because" is wrong. You could say that the causality goes the other way (you should take care of your parents because they took care of you), but it would be more accurate to say that people just take care of family at every turn because that's what you do. As a data point, my family (and most others I know) doesn't consider its member's wealth really separate. My parents consider their wealth as ours (the children's) too, my sister and I would spend all our wealth taking care of our parents if they needed it, etc.
FabHK 7y ago
I’d say it’s not specifically Armenian. In fact, your answer illustrates the cultural differences the author alludes to. 1. Many countries are much more collectivist than the USA. If in your family or clan or tribe or village someone starves, and someone has food (or money), then the expectation is that the food flows to where it is needed. There is much less “mine vs yours”. 2. The difference between market exchange rates and purchase power parity, taking into account the cost of living. A household gross salary of say 72k p.a. in the Bay Area might really not be very much, but 6000 USD per month seem huge for a family in the Philippines or Armenia. So you should be able to give up 1000$ a month easily - it would help the family at home immeasurably, while for you going from 6000 to still unimaginably opulent 5000 should be peanuts. 3. As highlighted by the author, the USA epitomises wealth for many. The reality that many Americans also live precariously or even struggle hasn’t arrived in less educated circles (and most US TV shows consumed abroad don’t help to correct that picture).
GordonS 7y ago
Not just an Armenian thing. One of my friends is married to a Chinese woman, and she sends money back to her parents in China every month. That might not seem a bad thing by itself, but her parents are constantly pushing her to send more, and berating her for not doing well enough to send more. She has 3 siblings, all of whom also live outside of China and send money back, and her parents make a kind of nasty competition out of it. Poor woman has been in tears plenty times because of it. My friend isn't too impressed with this, especially as she actually sends more money back that she keeps for them.

kazen44 7y ago

This is also a cultural difference i think. The US as a society is highly individualistic. Living on your own at 18 for instance, is considered absurd in a lot of regions of the world because children are supposed to care for their father/mother later in life.

StavrosK 7y ago
You're right in general, but the "because" is wrong. You could say that the causality goes the other way (you should take care of your parents because they took care of you), but it would be more accurate to say that people just take care of family at every turn because that's what you do. As a data point, my family (and most others I know) doesn't consider its member's wealth really separate. My parents consider their wealth as ours (the children's) too, my sister and I would spend all our wealth taking care of our parents if they needed it, etc.

FabHK 7y ago

I’d say it’s not specifically Armenian. In fact, your answer illustrates the cultural differences the author alludes to. 1. Many countries are much more collectivist than the USA. If in your family or clan or tribe or village someone starves, and someone has food (or money), then the expectation is that the food flows to where it is needed. There is much less “mine vs yours”. 2. The difference between market exchange rates and purchase power parity, taking into account the cost of living. A household gross salary of say 72k p.a. in the Bay Area might really not be very much, but 6000 USD per month seem huge for a family in the Philippines or Armenia. So you should be able to give up 1000$ a month easily - it would help the family at home immeasurably, while for you going from 6000 to still unimaginably opulent 5000 should be peanuts. 3. As highlighted by the author, the USA epitomises wealth for many. The reality that many Americans also live precariously or even struggle hasn’t arrived in less educated circles (and most US TV shows consumed abroad don’t help to correct that picture).

GordonS 7y ago

Not just an Armenian thing. One of my friends is married to a Chinese woman, and she sends money back to her parents in China every month. That might not seem a bad thing by itself, but her parents are constantly pushing her to send more, and berating her for not doing well enough to send more. She has 3 siblings, all of whom also live outside of China and send money back, and her parents make a kind of nasty competition out of it. Poor woman has been in tears plenty times because of it. My friend isn't too impressed with this, especially as she actually sends more money back that she keeps for them.