> hold the belief they really care about and like you. I'm not sure this is ever a pre-requisite; this expectation might cause you to distrust the very thing t

> hold the belief they really care about and like you. I'm not sure this is ever a pre-requisite; this expectation might cause you to distrust the very thing that might help you. A therapist is a guide, not a friend. I have to dig up the studies (or feel free to google), but it's been shown that just going through a script produces measurable benefits on aggregate, regardless of the therapists' shortcomings. There's an analogy to physiotherapy. In physio, you're doing the work under a coach's care -- doesn't matter how you feel about the coach as long as the prescribed techniques are correct. Results will come. Depending on your situation, you can even do CBT on yourself and see measurable benefits (Mind over Mood by Greenberger/Padesky is the usual recommendation; however YMMV -- not all pathologies respond to CBT). Not to say that there isn't a benefit to a truly empathetic therapist (there is -- you need someone you feel comfortable opening up to), but a suspension of disbelief seems to me to not be necessary. (source: personal experience)