>If you cannot state your need without judgmental comments (blaming others, etc), you are not going to get far in solving the problem. This is not universally

>If you cannot state your need without judgmental comments (blaming others, etc), you are not going to get far in solving the problem. This is not universally true, but you state it as if it is. >Your problems are valid, but you have to be able to communicate them in ways that don't trigger defensiveness. Wrong. Triggering defensiveness is something which happens as a matter of degree, and there is no problem with triggering small amounts of defensiveness if the other party is an emotionally mature person who has perspective on their own defensiveness.