4 ms·

I have similar problems like OP. Lack of leadership has been a problem with me both at home and at work. When I get the change to be a leader, I chicken out and

by hi41 7y ago

I have similar problems like OP. Lack of leadership has been a problem with me both at home and at work. When I get the change to be a leader, I chicken out and don't tell my juniors what needs to be done because I feel I am not worthy of being a leader. All the thoughts of my own failure come rushing to my mind I feel that I am not qualified to be a leader. One day the director told me that I don't have it in me. I felt so bad. I have a colleague who is really good at talking even though he is technically less qualified than me. When there is an issue he is able to talk and stand his ground. I on the other hand can't handle issues and feel very anxious. I don't know how to overcome this. Like the OP said, if someone can suggest a book it will be great. I have over 20 years of experience and still am a contributor and not a team lead or manager. I have also had depression and two instances of severe anxiety attacks for which I received medication.

abiogenesis 7y ago
This is called Impostor Syndrome [1] and it is more common than you think: > Studies suggest that more than 70% of people experience the impostor syndrome at some point in their career. You can use writing (email) to guide your team instead of speaking to help you act rationally instead of emotionally since you are already aware that he (or anyone else) is technically less qualified. I have over 20 years of experience too, and was a bit like you when I was younger. Then I noticed that 99% (I might be boasting here, but the exact percentage does not matter) of my colleagues have no idea of what they are doing, even though they make themselves look otherwise. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
sianliu 7y ago
What helped me overcome my sense of self-worth, lack of confidence, depression, anxiety were regular exercise, meditation, yoga, spiritual development, always learning, and never giving up. The book that shaped my perspective with regards to being a leader and success in my professional and personal life was "The Diamond Cutter" by Michael Roach. Note: I am a free thinker. HTH
- hi41 7y ago
  Thank you. I will read the book. I have not exercised in years. I will incorporate trust.

by hi41 7y ago

abiogenesis 7y ago

This is called Impostor Syndrome [1] and it is more common than you think: > Studies suggest that more than 70% of people experience the impostor syndrome at some point in their career. You can use writing (email) to guide your team instead of speaking to help you act rationally instead of emotionally since you are already aware that he (or anyone else) is technically less qualified. I have over 20 years of experience too, and was a bit like you when I was younger. Then I noticed that 99% (I might be boasting here, but the exact percentage does not matter) of my colleagues have no idea of what they are doing, even though they make themselves look otherwise. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

sianliu 7y ago

What helped me overcome my sense of self-worth, lack of confidence, depression, anxiety were regular exercise, meditation, yoga, spiritual development, always learning, and never giving up. The book that shaped my perspective with regards to being a leader and success in my professional and personal life was "The Diamond Cutter" by Michael Roach. Note: I am a free thinker. HTH

hi41 7y ago
Thank you. I will read the book. I have not exercised in years. I will incorporate trust.