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A core part of many abusive relationships is the message "No one else cares about you, no one loves you, I'm the only one who will help you". The abuser will so
by ip26 7y ago
A core part of many abusive relationships is the message "No one else cares about you, no one loves you, I'm the only one who will help you". The abuser will socially isolate the victim, cutting off friendships & family. What friends & family remain, the abuser will work to discredit or estrange, all the while telling the victim the abuser is the only person they can rely on.
I think you are imagining abuse victims as fully rational actors straining to break free, if only they had somewhere to go or full custody of their child. But a long time victim of this kind of abuse has been taught they are helpless, worthless, and alone. The only thing more frightening than staying, is leaving.
- treeman79 7y agoIn an abusive relationship. If I try and leave she threatens to call the cops. Uses every emotional trick to make it clear I have no wear to go. Lots of other emotional abuse. Next day she’s bright as can be. Confused as to why any of it bothers me. Kids are very much only reason staying. Took many years to break free of mental chains. Kids almost old enough to see through BS.
- jenkstom 7y agoStay strong. I stayed for the same reasons but she wanted to end it. I'm in a better place, but I'm terrified for my children and nobody that can do anything about it believes any of it. Don't expect your kids to see through it - it's normal for them. Sorry, but that's my experience.
- treeman79 7y agoThanks! I gave up on that awhile ago. Was shocking to see her start crap with everyone plain as day. Then all kids against me because she is mom. Never mind we we all happy and having fun until she arrived. I spent a year pushing back hard on it. She’s reluctant to start crap these days. I still don’t like her. But it’s better.