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Saying 'unhappiness is a choice' is a bit like saying 'poverty is a choice' in that the only point of saying it is to rationalise distancing yourself from it. I
by noibl 16y ago
Saying 'unhappiness is a choice' is a bit like saying 'poverty is a choice' in that the only point of saying it is to rationalise distancing yourself from it. If you feel that unhappiness is like a contagious disease and that you sometimes get infected by it, two conclusions follow: the 'choice' thesis can't be that strong, and it's entirely unnecessary to blame others for the effect it's having on you.
- barrkel 16y agoEmotions are affected by action and reaction, in a cyclical and continuous feedback fashion. There is no contradiction between saying that un/happiness is a choice and un/happiness is contagious; it's just that when you're in a group, there's more than one person choosing how to act, and some measure of one's reaction is involuntary. The more negative people are in your group, the harder you have to fight - i.e. the more times you'll have to consciously choose - to turn reactions more positively. There are a lot of ambient factors that affect un/happiness though, particularly health, environment, stress etc. The more of these things that are getting you down, the more work it is to stay upbeat. The spiral you have to fight to keep out of is getting discouraged, and not changing those ambient factors any more.
- sliverstorm 16y ago1) You can choose who you hang out with 2) If hanging out with someone routinely brings you down, it wouldn't be right to BLAME them for making you sad, but that doesn't mean you have to keep spending time with them. Fault can be separated from causality.
- herval 16y agoboth unhappiness and poverty are 50% choice. Unless you live in a caste-based system OR have some genuine reasons to be unhappy (e.g. a close relative just died). Luckily, these are usually NOT the norm...